Lawyers Defend Disney Villains

Attorneys took to Reddit to discuss how they would defend the Disney villains in a court of law. Here are some of our favorites:

Simba v. Scar:

What crime are we talking about here? Mufasa was killed by a stampeding herd of wildebeest. It was a tragedy, and our leader Scar mourned his brother’s death before putting his personal pain aside to lead a nation that needed him.

And now his nephew, who mysteriously ran off after his father’s death, shows up and accuses him of foul play years later? A kid who has spent his life up until this point shirking all responsibility, living with a couple of deviants, and doing God knows what. This runaway, who has never held down a job mind you, suddenly can’t get his fix so he comes home and starts making demands. When his loving uncle, Scar, refuses to just hand over everything and suggests that Simba enter a rehabilitation program all of a sudden he starts throwing around wild accusations.

This case has no merit.

DoctorFahrenheit

Ariel v. Ursula:

Ursula made a contract with Ariel that had no clause saying that Ursula was not allowed to interfere. The contract stated that she had to get Eric to fall in love with her without her voice, she failed, and she has to pay the price for her failure. It’s not Ursula’s fault Ariel doesn’t put things by a lawyer before she signs them.

jacdeswilliams

Elsa v. Hans

Prince Hans’ attempted assassination of Queen Elsa was carried out on behalf of the nation of Arendelle, which would almost certainly have suffered tremendous loss of life and a devastating economic downturn had the winter gone on any longer.

AdultSupervision

Mowgli v. Shere Kahn

While the violent intrudor, who goes by the savage name “mowgli”, endagered the security and peace of the entire jungle, as he brought a weapon of mass destruction, that by experts is known as “fire”, into the sovereign territory of the jungle, my client, the noble and acknowledged Mister Shere Khan, was one of the few citizens to realize the potential threat caused by this unlawful human creature.

Selflessly he fought the creature, while others were too lazy or driven by foolish and egoistic attemps to attain power thorugh the human.

My client should therefore be treated as a hero and the true villains should be punished according to the laws of the jungle. Meaning Mister Shere Khan should be granted the right to kill and eat them.

butz1819

Cinderella v. Lady Tremaine

As Cinderella’s guardian it is perfectly within her rights to protest her marriage at such a young age even to royalty. Locking her up was an act of maternal love for her daughter in law as her step sisters were much more ready for such a significant relationship.

Christopherhaze69

Peter Pan v. Captain Hook

Captain Hook was provoked by Mr. Pan. His hand being fed to a crocodile and forever haunted by the ticking of said crocodile who proceeded to stalk him for years caused an understandable hole in my clients reasoning. Peter Pan and his “lost boys” victimized my clients for years before he finally lashed out in self defense

Christopherhaze69