The satirical website The Onion has gotten the scoop on Walt Disney World’s 5th theme park – Ordeal Kingdom. Among the highlights guests can expect to find at Ordeal Kingdom:
- The 350-acre property reportedly incorporates many of the most aggravating elements of Disney’s other parks and expands them into a creative and fully immersive world of irritation.
- Every aspect of the experience is guaranteed to ratchet up the tension until you and your family are screaming at each other and saying you should never have come in the first place.
- Tarzan Adventure, a kid-friendly obstacle course that provides dozens of opportunities for parents to lose track of their children among twists and turns as they struggle to make their voices heard over loud jungle sound effects.
- Features live shows on five different stages, each one tailored to appeal exclusively to one gender and age group, with all shows occurring simultaneously once per day during lunchtime.
- Numerous Disney characters, all from the 1985 movie The Black Cauldron
The article is summed up by a Disney spokesperson saying what we already know about Disney – “Our goal is to leave every one of our guests with memories that will last a lifetime.”
I can’t wait!