We have three episodes left of the season and the drama is so tense at camp, I genuinely have no clue how their production of Frozen is shaping up to be. Are they off book? Are the sets complete? This whole color war hoopla seems like a huge waste of time considering I have yet to see Kourtney sing as Elsa. Don’t make the girl climb a rock wall, let the girl climb on top of the notes!
I digress. Let’s all take a deep breath and get into the episode. As mentioned, it’s the yearly color war at Camp Shallow Lake. The rules are simple: two teams, two colors, one winner, bragging rights for the rest of time. Corbin is ready to film it, honey. The man loves tension more than he loves Taylor McKessie.
Gina and Maddox connect over Jet issues, with Maddox finally feeling open enough to talk to the new campers over her issues. She has really opened up since we first met her, which is quite sweet. EJ then comes in to talk with Gina over the letter debacle, which she seems to be over. While is still adamant about putting on a good show to prove to his father he doesn’t need leadership school (still a disgusting concept), Gina was the take it day-by-day.
Maddox is deemed the team captain for the yellow team, while EJ heads up the blue team. It’s a series of physical challenges, a la the Disney Channel Games, which itself is a cornerstone of modern sport. Jet is, what a shock, moping about, especially after Maddox revealed he outed her to their mom. He stresses that he didn’t think it was outing. He assumed she was talking to a boy and told his mom out of fairness, so he still feels awful to this day. Ricky suggests proving himself during the color war to help Maddox win the day, since she is the unofficial face of the camp.
With a phone call, a spotlight, and a dream, EJ has summoned Miss Jenn to the barn to get some pointers on directing. He urges her presence to be a secret, so the fellow campers don’t look at him as weak or failing in his role, but y’all already know the news gets out. In Miss Jenn fashion, she aids the wildcats with numerous quips and effortless advice.
The color war stats are all tied up going into the singalong, having the teams battle with a performance of “It’s On” from Camp Rock 2 (and various 100K Pyramid commercials). Jet’s riffing takes it for the yellow team, shocking Maddox and helping to connect them again, albeit not fully back in each other’s good graces.
Ricky quickly helps Gina set up an indoor canoe date that will act as a camp promposal for EJ and herself. Ricky is, obviously, bummed and continuing to feel confusion over his adoration for Gina. He runs back to The Yurt Locker (gets me every time) and is crying over the matter, until Jet sparks an idea within Ricky’s head for the dance. I love evil plotting.
Unfortunately, EJ won’t let the promposal go through, as dates aren’t allowed at prom. Instead, they awkwardly sit in the canoe, awaiting fireworks. (I’m calling it now, Gina and EJ are confidently broken up by the end of episode eight.) Yet, as the fireworks go off, metaphorical ones start to spark for Ashlyn. Y’all, she is queer and in love with Val. Pride month is all year long, yes gawd hunty mama boots the house down werk!
Extra Credit:
- “Unless you praise Nickelodeon, it’s going in the doc.” Do you think Corbin Bleu is actually a villain? It’s giving the manager from A Star Is Born.
- Miss Jenn remains the greatest character on Disney+. Sorry Mandalorian, try harder. “Don’t use Carlos. Carlos is mommy’s.” PERFECTION.
- The “It’s On” choreo felt like a Disney Parks entertainment audition. I mean that as a full compliment.
- There’s an entire scenario where Gina gets hit in the head with a basketball, there’s a dream sequence musical number with Corbin Bleu, Carlos slaps her awake, then she pirouettes and shoots a basket. I plead the fifth.