Dear Santa,
I hope you are doing well. Before I get started, let me explain my rather early correspondence. While, of course, you expect my letters yearly (and I do appreciate your gifting response every December 25th), I have some rather large “asks” this go ‘round. Instead of just for myself, I want to spread Christmas joy for all. Thus, my letter to you includes requests for the greater good.
You are always so busy (I have seen many a biopic highlighting your story), so I can imagine some entertainment news skips over you as you continually work towards the next holiday season. At this year’s D23: The Ultimate Disney Fan Event, a lot of news was divulged to Disney fans about all facets of The Walt Disney Company. While the news was thrilling at the convention, some stones were left unturned. It made me realize that I could take my good will with you (and permanent Nice List status) and put it towards Disney.
So, below is my Christmas list. Again, these are larger-than-normal requests, so don’t feel obligated to have them under my tree on 12/25. If anything, just ensure that these come to fruition within the next calendar year if possible. Thanks as always, Nicholas. Nicky-boy. Saint Nick-elodeon. You’re the best.
Sincerely,
Marshal
- With Agatha All Along being a remarkable success and WandaVision still being regarded as an MCU crown jewel, I’d love a Scarlet Witch solo film. She deserves not only a redemption arc, but the possibility to really push for a superhero awards campaign. Olsen for Oscar! Olsen for Oscar!
- Disney Cruise Line’s rapid expansion is wild (and thrilling!), but can the boats bring in some brand new environments for ports? While the Adventure is tackling Asia, could a South American cruise be possible in the coming years? Even just the announcement of one? Please?
- The Disney Parks announcements were incredibly exciting. The abundance of brand new, capacity-adding attractions to the domestic parks were a dream come true. I’m not sure if you’re able to help, but could you ensure everyone calms down? Like, make sure everyone stops yelling and complaining about closures or construction? I really can’t take it. Thanks.
- Speaking of the parks…the overall “pretending” that the “EPCOT rehaul” was “successful” is rather confounding. I do love the new center space behind Spaceship Earth, but Communicore Hall ain’t it and Luminous ain’t it. What could make it better? Literally any announcement or information as to what will happen to the Wonders of Life pavilion would be a dream. If it means demolishing and replacing with a new attraction? Great. If it means gutting the inside and putting in new attractions? Also great. It’s such prime real estate being completely ignored. (Also, what happened to the new China 360 movie?!)
- Can you go ahead and make sure ABC’s High Potential is picked up for, at least, five seasons? Think how a new 100+ episode procedural would do for ABC and the network television market as a whole? Also, Kaitlin Olson Emmy nom, please and thank ya.
- Buck up and ensure Disney can get back the full East Coast Marvel rights. kthx.
- This is some real corporate conniving I need from ya, but can you ensure that Freakier Friday does well in theaters, proving to Disney low/mid-budget films have a place in their brand still? I understand this might mean a few more sequels (Hocus Pocus 3, anyone?), but it can show that mid-budgets are just as essential to the company.
- And, if that’s the case, allow Disney to resurrect Fox 2000 Pictures (but, like, without the word Fox), because they really killed it on smaller, mid-budget films that did well and had personalities.
- Could you, Mr. Santa Claus, personally explain to me the difference between ESPN, ESPN+, and the new ESPN streamer, along with how any of these would differ from the possible Venu streaming service? I truly would just love a diagram or something.
- One last request, Santa: Can you cancel The Greatest Showman stage production from Disney Theatricals? Thanks babe.