#DWTS20 Finale Recap!

DWTS

#DWTS20 is over! The finale has come and gone, a winner has been crowned, and the special Golden Mirrorball Trophy has been awarded. So, in true “me” fashion, let’s break down the 2-hour finale, in all of its glittery goodness. BA BA DA BA BA BA BA BA BA DA BA BA!

Following in last year’s footsteps, the finale begins with a beautiful crisp white outdoor stageing area. All the stars! All the confetti! They both never end! Erin Andrews personally counted up the freestyle votes, allegedly (and is wearing flats, ‘cause girl’s gotta run all over!), which let Riker and Allison dance their routine again. Still great the second time around. Does this mean Riker will win? If recent memories repeat themselves, no, as both Meryl and Alfonso didn’t get to do their freestyles a second time. We will see! Riker then led us back from commercial with a redo of his first dance, leading me to once again question his hands. He loves to make these 90 degree angles with his hands and it makes me feel all weird.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4eqaR5mNiA

Juicy Wiggle happened again. I was disgusted. Redfoo continued to be way too old to be singing that song. Emma Slater classed it up a smidge, but only because she’s Emma Slater aka a goddess amongst us. Charlotte then danced/forgot her steps again. Sadie and Alfonso came back to dance with their partners, then each other, making me miss both of them a ton. Alfonso was then announced as the new host of America’s Funniest Home Videos! That is so exciting! I’ll definitely be checking out the premiere of the 26th season this fall to judge Alfonso and the new (hopefully) set. Nothing gets me more excited than a spanking new set! However, I still miss Daisy Fuentes. *sigh*

Suzanne danced to Copa Cabana, once again showing the country how underscored she was throughout the entire competition. DWTS Bad Lip Reading was next and absolutely genius. Allison LOVES math! I was dying. Robert and Kym performed their first routine, the Shark Tank one, but they never made out so it was overall a big bummer. Jason Derulo performed. He was incredibly mediocre, but Witney and Emma!

Noah and Amy Purdy danced, something I didn’t know I needed, but am so happy it did. Chris and Witney performed their first routine (Pick better dances!) and I just watched for Witney’s cowboy boot heels. Andy Grammar returned with his insane eyebrows to perform the subway dance with Nastia and Sasha freakin’ Farber. God, I love Sasha. Let’s just hope Derek doesn’t sing this ti-dang it.

Tony Dovolani. Dance Hard. Never coming to theaters. Genius.

Rumer and Val didn’t perform their first routine. Instead they brought back the DISCO SALSA! I was jumping with excitement. I’m going to get a tattoo that just says “Disco Salsa.” It was great, ‘cause duh. Willow returned, dancing her Alice in Wonderland routine. She was as poised and amazing as ever, once again pissing me off that she isn’t in the finals and that she didn’t make it farther. Here’s a reminder that this happened. (I LOVE YOU FOREVER, WILLOW!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBtJRm9FAKE

Rehearsal bloopers were the best part of the show, for obvious reasons. Charlotte didn’t understand that rehearsal results were fake, which was painful to watch. However, Erin’s “Vote for them to stay, because we don’t want another last season…” Keo jab was brilliant. It shows that Erin is the best. Fifth Harmony then performed with the ladies outside and it was fierce and great and YAHS worthy.

Shirtless male pros danced after disembarking from motorcycles, then flanked Erin. That image is now my new phone background, because Erin’s face was priceless. Sia then performed “Elastic Heart” with Julianne, Derek, and their young doppelgangers. It was stunning, intricate, and one of the Top 3 routines I’ve ever seen on the show. Best Choreography Emmy-worthy. Tom’s observation after shows why he’s the best on TV: “No other show can be setting up a mosh pit while taking down an apartment.”

Patti and Artem killed it. Nothing else you need to know. Very self-explanatory.

They then went to the stars to discuss their thoughts on the final 3. I may have missed it last night, but Robert revealed that last night’s freestyle, from Rumer and Val, was danced to a cover of “Toxic”…that was sung BY RUMER. What?! This recap is unofficially brought to you by Rumer Willis’ “Toxic,” now available on iTunes.

Erin: “Yell who you think will win this season! I didn’t hear me. Well, there’s always next season.”

24-hour Fusion Challenge happened. It was still as pointless as ever. Noah got straight 9s, the other two got a perfect score. The same comments were made as the night before. We all moved on.

Patti LaBelle sang “Two Steps Away” as a montage of greatest hits played. The finale three couples stood their in awe of the Fairy Godmother of Soul obliterating the song. Sharna had her moth agape for a solid minute and a half as she watched and listened. I concur Sharna, I concur. The 3rd place finisher was then revealed as…Noah and Sharna. It made sense, but in that moment I thought two things. 1) Sharna has to win soon, because the girl deserves it. 2) What does Noah care, he has to plan a wedding!

The moment has finally arrived. The winner of Dancing with the Stars, Season 20 is…Rumer and Val! The Chmerkovskiy’s now both have Mirrorball trophies! Rumer is happy! Demi is happy! Glenn Close has got to be happy!

Thanks for a wonderful season, and I’ll see you back here in September! Until then…DISCO SALSA!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfKnrZjucA4

Marshal Knight
Marshal Knight is a pop culture writer based in Orlando, FL. For some inexplicable reason, his most recent birthday party was themed to daytime television. He’d like to thank Sandra Oh.