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The Air Up There

When riding the Disneyland Railroad near Main Street, the familiar frosted flakes voice of Thurl Ravenscroft bellows, "The smoking lamp is out."

It's getting tougher to find any smoking lamps in the Disney theme parks.

Disney is banning the sales of tobacco and cigarettes in its theme parks. Like a smack of Tinker Bell's wand, the air above Anaheim and Orlando just seem a little clearer. Though I'm not sure what this means for the smoking caterpillar in the Alice in Wonderland ride, smoking out "A, E, I, O, U."

I'm not one of those who wants smokers to be banished from the face of the earth. At the same time, I have asthma because my father smoked when I was a child, and it has been well proven that second-hand smoke is just as dangerous as smoking.

You can still smoke at the theme parks. You'll just have to bring your own Camels in.

In the end, we'll all probably be breathing a little easier. You don't think any of this has to do with Touchstone's Insider movie about tobacco company intrigue, do you? Neither do I.

Tower of Terror: When I'm not writing about Disney, I write sports.

The Los Angeles' Kings' first game in the new Staples Center had a little Disney to it, with lasers and indoor fireworks to open the game. No ducks however.

After finishing up for the night, I was in the glass elevator leading down from the press box when a confused reporter presses all the wrong buttons. Suddenly, we were going up, down, but never touching the ground.

Another reporter, from the Orange County newspaper, no less, commented "This is like a ride at Disneyland."

To which I replied, "Not really. I don't see the robot pirates singing 'Yo Ho.'"

Something Disney Fans Would Like to See: DisneyQuest added to the new Downtown Disney in California.

Something Disney Fans Would Not Like to See: Hooters added to Downtown Disney.

West's Side: Rick West's column this week talks up the fears of some that the California Adventure's thrills won't come close to its nearby rivals in Knott's and Magic Mountain.

Yet, in the end, my thought is that the new park's success won't have anything to do with its rides. Ride enthusiasts know that the really thrilling rides are at Six Flags and Knott's. Yet, they still go to Disneyland because it has a special touch those other parks could never match.

If California Adventure has that magic, it won't matter that their Maliboomer is shorter than Knott's Supreme Scream.

On the other hand, any more cost-cutting and there won't be any magic left. No money, no magic. It's about long-term investment, as opposed to short-term. Let's remember that Disneyland was losing money in its first few years.

What if It Was a Disney Movie: Fight Club would be the Mickey Mouse Fight Club. MMC alums Britney Spears and Felicity's Keri Russell will battle over Russell's new short hair do and Spears' "growth spurt."

Not to worry. The Disney brand of family entertainment will live on, as the only weapons allowed will be cream pies and eggs. The Backstreet Boys will officiate.

Until next time … Breathe easier.