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Thunderous Arrival

There's a thunderous sound coursing through your veins, but you know it's not thunder. Not only is there not a flash of lighting, but the skies are as blue as water and the sun is the only light to see.

The "boom" gets louder. You look at the water in your clear Dixie cup, and it's shaking like a pebble's ripple in a pond.

No, it's not Jurassic Park. Dinosaur comes out next week.

For the $200 million it reportedly cost to make this movie, you can bet its effects will thunder through the halls of Disney's Burbank offices.

Movie magazines say that judging by the amount of money spent for each minute, this will be the most expensive film ever made. Perhaps alarming to Disney and their investment is that the early reviews out of the trade publications haven't been kind.

For the most part, people don't let reviews determine what movies they're going to see. With that, a lot of people already decided that they were going to see Dinosaurs a long time ago, and will be in line May 19.

Especially kids. Nothing fascinates or captivates children more than the behemoths of millions of years ago. Not even Mickey Mouse.

The reviewers forget that in the end, kids are the main audience for this movie. Movie insiders know that when kids flock to a movie, the box office goes up. Just look to last year's Pokemon as a prime example.

Think back for a second to when you were a kid and what it was like when you looked at the dinosaur bones in a museum. You couldn't be dragged away. They were real life monsters, and you always had to be relieved by the soothing words, "They're extinct now."

With little else out for kids in the theaters right now, Dinosaur will have an entire demographic to itself. It's not clear if that will make up for all the money spent on the film, but it may come close.

Just because us pesky adults want a plotline and entertainment, doesn't mean the kids will care. On the other hand, we usually expect a Disney movie to not only keep the kids in awe, but the adults as well.

We'll just wait and see.

So Much for New Tomorrowland: Rumors are flying around the net that Rocket Rods at Disneyland will soon be closed for good.

No, not some old attraction like Small World or the Country Bear Jamboree. Rocket Rods, which stands at an ancient two years of age.

What about all the money spent to get the Rods up and running? Well, there is precedent. Light Magic had nearly as much spent on it, and it only lasted one summer.

It seems funny that all of those who have spent the last two years panning the ride are now crying about its possible demise.

Not that the criticism has affected the long lines at the edge of Disneyland. Rocket Rods wouldn't be closed because of a lack of popularity, but because it costs more to operate than most of the park.

I always felt guilty that I liked the Rocket Rods. People always told me that I wasn't supposed to like it, yet I did. It wasn't the E-Ticket that was advertised, but it was still a great thrill.

Part of the reason people didn't like it was that it replaced the beloved Peoplemover. That's not the best excuse.

I miss the nighttime feel of New Orleans Square, but I would rather have Fantasmic! around. I miss Adventure Into inner Space, but Star Tours is one of my current favorites.

Now, there's talk that along with closing Rocket Rods, the track that was also used by the Peoplemover will be taken out as well.

It's hard to imagine walking into Tomorrowland without something whizzing by your head as you walk past Star Tours. Tomorrowland used to be my favorite part of the park. If this happens, it will be about as exciting as Main Street.

An Undersea Voyage: Another Tomorrowland attraction sorely missed is the Submarine Voyage.

If you live in Southern California, I have a great substitute.

If you ever take the 40 minute boat ride to Catalina Island, there is a submarine ride right at the coast that's practically a duplicate of the one that used to sail through the Matterhorn cove. My wife and I were aboard during our recent honeymoon.

You sit in these subs the same way you did at Disneyland and at Disney World's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea attraction. You have a slightly larger porthole and a little more room, and the captain's spiel isn't on tape. Like Disney's subs, your sub is never completely under the water.

The other big difference, beside the fact that the subs don't run along rails, is that all the exotic fish and sealife are real. No wires or plastic. Unfolding in front of you are literally thousands of colorful fish.

I didn't see a sea monster.

Something Disney Fans Would Like to See: Paul Presser reverses his decision and brings the Walt Disney World Band back to Walt Disney World..

Something Disney Fans Would Not Like to See: Paul Presser goes even more nuts and gets rid of the Disneyland Band.

I Have No Strings: Is it me, but is Paradise Pier at the new California Adventure starting to look strangely like Pleasure Island in Pinocchio?

Lets hope riding on Mulholland Madness won't turn you into a donkey.

What If It Was a Disney Movie: Battlefield Earth would be... Well, it couldn't be a Disney movie, judging by how bad the reviews have been.

Until next time ... SQUISH! (Guest Relations will need two weeks to recover, as its writer has just been squished by a dinosaur).

Related Links

• Guide to Dinosaur (from LaughingPlace.com)

-- Posted May 12, 2000