Guest Relations
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Shaq's Going to Disneyland
There was enough electricity in Staples Center after the Lakers won the 2000 NBA Championship to power several Main Street Electrical Parades.
As purple and gold streamers rained down from the rafters, they seemed to have an added reflection from the beaming face of Shaquille O'Neal. Tears of joy formed rivers on his face. On his large face, they seem as big as rivers. It seemed like everyone could share the happiness with one of the few genuinely nice people in sports.
O'Neal has said in the past the he doesn't want to be another one of those sports stars you hear about in the news, testing positive for steroids, ordering a hit on his wife or saying you're 100 percent not guilty. "I intend to stay out of trouble," O'Neal said at a recent Laker practice. "You're not going to hear about me in the news."
That was before O'Neal said the fateful words that would cause the kind of controversy he always sought to avoid.
"I'm going to Disneyland."
There are a lot of things that are forbidden to say these days in our politically correct world. The last thing you think would cause people to cringe at is "I'm going to Disneyland."
Yet the actors union is on strike against those who make commercials. O'Neal is a part of that union, and many felt that O'Neal was as much a strike breaker as he is a breaker of backboards.
Never mind that saying "I'm going to Disneyland" has become as much a part of winning a championship as the champagne and the trophy presentation. Traditions don't go on strike.
It was surprising that the Screen Actors Guild didn't raise a ruckus with Aladar for appearing in a Dinosaur commercial. But then, I hear that SAG is soft on computer-generated reptiles.
Later in the week, the union and O'Neal made peace with each other. It has to be wondered, though, whether the controversy kept the Lakers from being part of a parade in the Magic Kingdom like they did in 1987 and '88.
With all the time on their hands, you know what SAG members are doing.
They're going to Disneyland.
The Real World: Even while we try to escape from the real world, it comes right back at us.
People going to escape at Disney World were confronted by SWAT teams and television crews. An armed man was holding a cast member and his four-year-old son hostage at Disney World's Boardwalk Inn.
Thankfully, the suspect surrendered and the only people hurt were those who had to sit out in the humid Florida sun while the hotel was evacuated.
Still, the real world has crept in again. Just a reminder how important it is to have a place like Walt Disney World where, for the most part, you can escape all that is bad in the world.
Something Disney Fans Would Like to See: Tony Baxter takes over as president of Walt Disney Attractions.
Something Disney Fans Would Not Like to See: Paul Presser take over for Michael Eisner.
Patriot Games: Sometimes, projects outside of Disney can inspire its theme parks and movie divisions.
When the Jurassic Park movies made big money at the box office, the new Animal Kingdom got itself a Countdown to Extinction, while the long floundering Dinosaur project found new life.
You've probably ridden Indiana Jones or Star Tours.
Now, it has to be wondered if any success enjoyed by Columbia's The Patriot could renew Disney's efforts to create a patriotic-themed park.
If the American Revolution actually becomes "hip," there would seem little reason for Disney to hold back anymore.
The only thing that held the project up the last time was the site.
Back in 1994, historians were outraged with Disney's plans to turn a historic Civil War battlefield in Virginia into a theme park, just 35 miles from Washington D.C..
Michael Eisner has said that "Disney America" was his dream project with Disney. As much as Disneyland was for Walt. If everything had gone according to play, Haymarket, Virginia would right now be the site of a $650 million Disney theme park. In fact, it would have opened up two years ago.
The problem was that Disney wanted to use an area near the
site of the Battle of Manassas. Disney theme parks can't go up without community support,
and the Haymarket community was up in arms over the possibility of history being paved
over. In the end, Disney pulled out.
You could have been riding Grizzly Peak in Virginia, where it would have been the Lewis and Clark Adventure.
You could have been riding a Ferris Wheel at Paradise Pier in Virginia, except that it would be called the County Fair.
Even the working farm at California Adventure was originally an idea for Disney's America.
Eisner has admitted that California Adventure is not only a substitute for the unrealized WESTCOT, but for America as well. Still, he said in a recent interview that Disney hasn't given up on its idea for the America theme park.
They'll just try to avoid battlefields the next time.
Getting Wet: The more I see of what's shaping up at DisneySea, the more I want to move to Tokyo.
What If It Was a Disney Movie: The Perfect Storm would be "The Perfect Snow." It would be a sequel to Snow White where she develops a big ego and goes around talking about how "perfect" she is. In the end, Grumpy finds the Queen's apple and serves Perfect Snow a perfect blend of apple sauce..
Until next time "I'm going to Disneyland!"
Chris Reed, who wonders if there were any plans to include a "Corrupt Politicians" attraction in the America park, is usually a sportswriter whose Disney column appears every other Friday. Angry SAG letters can be entered below.
Guest Relations is posted every other Friday.
The opinions expressed by Chris Reed, and all of our columnists, do not necessarily represent the feelings of LaughingPlace.com or any of its employees or advertisers. All speculation and rumors about the future of Disneyland and the Walt Disney Company are just that - speculation and rumors - and should be treated as such.
-- Posted June 30, 2000