(c) Disney Enterprises

Upon arriving there, he finds the backwoods concert hall virtually forgotten and abandoned, save for the Bears’ former manager Henry (Kevin Michael Richardson) and the slow-witted caretaker, Big Al (James Gammon). Much to his dismay, Beary learns that the Hall is about to be foreclosed on and demolished by greedy banker Reed Thimple (Christopher Walken, in a watered-down, G-rated version of his usual menacing creep role). Desperate to keep the fabled location of his musical heroes intact, Beary convinces Henry to fire up the ol’ tour bus to track down the boys and, hopefully, convince them to get back together for a reunion concert in time to pay off the mortgage.

One by one, the band members are located and recruited for the crusade: the harmonica-playing Fred Bedderhead (Brad Garrett) is still in the entertainment biz, albeit in a less glamorous role; fiddler Zeb Zooter (Stephen Root) has yet to kick his sticky habit; Tennessee O’Neil (Toby Huss), featured on ‘the Thing’, continues to pine away for his lost love Trixie St. Claire (Candy Ford); and the seemingly-successful former lead singer Ted Bedderhead (Diedrich Bader) wants nothing to do with his old band-mates.

Various ‘on-the-road’ escapades ensue, interspersed with a few musical numbers (notably a ‘dueling banjos’ number between Zeb and former Stray Cat Brian Setzer, and a Britney Spears-style dance production performed by Jennifer Paige) and a Muppet Movie-like roster of pop celebrity cameos from Elton John and Queen Latifah to Don Henley and Bonnie Raitt to keep the grown-ups alert. All the while, two dimwitted policemen (played by Bader and Daryl ‘Chill’ Mitchell) pursue the band, thinking they cub-napped Beary, in a subplot as lame as their names: Officers Hamm and Cheets …

It’s all very ambitious and even mildly-entertaining, even with it’s painfully obvious moral and oh-so-predictable outcome, but one can’t get over the fact that this could have been a lot more interesting and, well, Disney, if the filmmakers had stuck to the original characters and story dreamed up by Walt and his Imagineers so many decades ago. (And while we’re at it, where’s Teddi Beara and the rest of the Jamboree gang?)

Created by Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, the bear characters have impressively realistic facial expressions in close-up, but when you see them hanging around with humans, they look no more technologically up-to-date then the Banana Splits. And the running gag that Beary’s adopted brother Dex (Eli Marienthal) is the only one that questions why these bears walk and talk (aren’t kids supposed to believe in such things?) wears very thin very fast.

The Country Bears is the first of several feature films based on popular Disney theme park attractions, with projects inspired by the Haunted Mansion and the Pirates of the Caribbean coming to the big screen in the not-to-distant future. Let’s hope that the makers of these highly synergistic endeavors learn from the errors of this one, stock up on their E-tickets, go for a ride … and take notes.