“Gentlemen, gentlemen, let us not forget that Mr. Eisner still has a final avenue for entrance into Order that we haven’t discussed….malice aforethought!�? Waving her staff and conjuring claps of thunder, Maleficent bore down with a steely gaze at the cowering and sweat-beaded applicant. “Tell us, Mr. Eisner, about how you planned from the very start to take what was once great and make it ordinary. Regale us with your plot to lead a company and its followers to the brink of glory only to crush their hopes and tear from them any faith, leaving them in despair!!! For surely that was your plan, was it not? Say yes and entry into the halls of great infamy can be YOURS!!!!!!!�?

Bloodshot and glowing eyes, horned crowns and gnarled nails, inky black capes and drawn pale faces all leaned in around the small and meek frame of the once mighty sixty-three year old as he drew in a deep breath and replied “No. That’s not the way it was. No.�?

As he exited the room, Michael Eisner was oblivious to the yammering of the pudgy Iago who trailed him down the stairs. “Just a simple yes and you could have been a member, but nooooooo, you had to go and be truthful, you couldn’t even lie. What a putz! Oooooh, I’m so honest, I’m so truthful! I’m so STUPID that I couldn’t even follow the first rule of great villainy!!!!! Hey, Mikey, don’t let the draw bridge hit you on the way out!�?

The panel slid closed behind him and he pushed open the doors onto the parking lot. He didn’t even notice the key scratches on the side of his car as he drove down the hill and made his way back home in the tangle of late afternoon traffic, made all the worse by the closing of Hollywood Boulevard in preparation for the premier of “The Weatherman�?, a film already brining accolades to his alma matter, Paramount.

•  •  •

As Michael Eisner pulled up his driveway he saw his son, Joe, standing in the doorway wearing a sweatshirt emblazoned “Berkley�? in large letters across the chest.

“Hi Dad!�? Joe raced to the car to give his father a handshake and a warm hug. “You’ve lost weight, Pop, you look great!�?

Michael Eisner leaned in and hugged his youngest son a little tighter than usual. Fighting back a tear he replied “more weight than you can imagine, Joe, more than you can imagine. Come inside and let’s make a sandwich and talk about your future. You know, it’s not too late to transfer to Harvard. I hired a lot of guys not nearly as smart as you just because they went to Harvard!�?

An autumn wind blew across the threshold of the Eisner mansion as dusk settled in over the hills. In the distance, barely visible through the smog, the top of a far away mountain seemed to shift ever so slightly against the setting sun.

•  •  •

Rhett Wickham is an occasional editorial contributor to LaughingPlace.com. and works as creative development and story consultant in Los Angeles. He is the founder of Creative Development Ink©®™ coaching screenwriters and story artists and layout artists in acting, character development and story analysis. Prior to coming to CA to work for studios such as DreamWorks Feature Animation, Mr. Wickham worked as an actor and stage director in New York City. Following graduate studies at Tisch School of the Arts he was named as a directing fellow with the Drama League of New York, and in 2003 he was honored with the Nine Old Men Award from Laughing Place readers, “for reminding us why Disney Feature Animation is the heart and soul of Disney.�? He lives in Los Angeles with his husband, artist Peter Narus.

The opinions expressed by our Rhett Wickham, and all of our columnists, do not necessarily represent the feelings of LaughingPlace.com or any of its employees or advertisers. All speculation and rumors about the future plans of the Walt Disney Company are just that - speculation and rumors - and should be treated as such.