A great question in last week's LaughingPlace podcast: is there a Disney attraction or show where it feels like you're the only one in the world that doesn't like it? Here are a few of mine:
Disneyland's Fantasmic
Projecting movies on a sheet of water is cool. But the sappy "dreaming/wishing/believing" storyline isn't, and I resent how Fantasmic takes over Disneyland's whole Frontierland/New Orleans Square area every evening.No one gets to ride the Mark Twain at night. No one gets the pleasure of hanging out at the River Belle Terrace casually taking in the sights without the sense that they're sitting in a stadium.
Soarin' over California
I don't so much hate Soarin' as think it's simply overrated. I do love the "whoosh" that comes when you take off at the beginning of the ride, but after that it seems like you're watching a scratched, low-quality IMAX film at a discount science center. And the queue in California is unforgivably boring.
Buzz Lightyear's Astro Blasters (and variants in other parks…)
This ride receives praise from nearly everyone. Again, I don't hate it…but it just doesn't impress me with its visuals or kinetics (a term I'll use to describe the sensation of the ride experience.) If the fun of the ride's "game" made up for it it would be one thing, but it doesn't.
DisneySea's 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Here's an obscure one for those of you who've been able to visit DisneySea. For a ride that has such amazing source material to work from, it underperforms. The "underwater" effect, cool as it is, makes it too hard to see out the windows, and what there is to see outside of the windows feels like a very slightly upgraded Fantasyland dark ride, not an E-ticket attraction. (For a little more in-depth criticism–pun not intended–you can read my lengthier review of DisneySea.)
Disneyland's Innoventions
People rave and rave about how amazing Disneyland's Innoventions is, how it's the one thing to see at the park if you only have the time to see one thing.Oh, wait…I'm thinking of Pirates of the Caribbean. Everybody dislikes Innoventions, not just me. Sorry about that.
"Partners"
I'll end up losing most of you with this admission, but I have to say it: I hate the "Partners" statues that have cropped up in front of the castles at most of the parks.The statues are part of the ongoing deification of Walt Disney that started while he was alive but shifted into overdrive after his death. The parks don’t need this kind of overt tribute—after all, they’re already called “Disneyland” and “Walt Disney World”—especially in the form of a bronze statue of Walt and Mickey Mouse that, for me at least, manages to trivialize them both.A lot of people find the statues cute, even moving, but to my way of thinking the parks themselves are already the best tribute possible.