It was Party Anthem week in the ballroom, with a carnival themed opening and Len inside a ticket booth (all tickets were SEHVEN dollars). They danced to “Party in the USA,” ‘cause nothing says America like shady carnival games and workers with only 3 teeth. But, I know what you’re waiting for in this paragraph…NENE LEAKES HAS A PONYTAIL! Redfoo, of LMFAO, was a guest judge, because everyone else said no? That’s the only reason I can think of, because his presence was pointless. Also, he has animal print scoring paddles…HOW DARE YOU DEVIATE FROM THE USUAL GLITTER! Anyway, let’s get to the dances! BA BA DA BA BA BA BA BA BA DA BA BA!
Nene and Tony danced a salsa to “Hot in Here,” but unfortunately, Tony didn’t rock a bandaid on his cheek. Yet, he did rock a shirtless bod. #ShowOff. Their rehearsal footage showed Nene breaking down after their dance last week, very concerned that Tony was mad at her. Nene, don’t you know? The only person he is still mad at is Kate Gosselin. After they made up, she screamed a lot, then the dance happened. It went from fluff, to a tad of substance, to more fluff. The judges loved it, but for me, it was so “Nelly,” but not enough Salsa…more like a queso (especially when seeing the color of her dress). We were also introduced to Bruno’s red velvet skintight t-shirt and Carrie Ann’s bright blue ponytail…yeah. 3 Eights and a Nine from Redfoo.
Candance and Mark danced a cha cha to “I Love It.” In rehearsal, much was (still) discussed about her need for sex and confidence to be given on the dance floor. Mark also wants to see Godzilla thrusts, which I feel is NOT the kind of synergy Warner Brothers want with their upcoming reboot. For me, it was her best dance yet. Rocking a mirror ball dress (how meta!), she showed tons of confidence, some sex (still gotta make the big JC happy!), and great leg work. All the judges saw her flip back and forth between confident and lack of, which was disappointing for them (and Candace, frankly). 4 Eights from the judges.
James and Peta danced a quickstep to “You’re the One That I Want” from Grease…which is the complete opposite of a party anthem, but moving on. James’ smile throughout was SUPER fake and his shoulders were stiff, but the routine was okay overall. Definitely not my favorite, but not his worst either. Len saw (get ready for a new meme!)…
So he was penalized score wise, leading to 3 Nines and the Eight from Len.
The Macy’s Stars of Dance was next, to the EDM hit “Animals” and it was my favorite Stars of Dance performance in recent memory. It was a large spectacle with fantastic choreography from Derek and the return of the DWTS Mosh Pit!
Danica and Val danced a cha cha to “I Wanna Dance with Somebody.” Danica realized she could be a real contender on the show after her 39 this week, which was very On the Waterfront of her to say. Oh, and she danced in rehearsals in Uggs, so I’m done for the day. Val wanted her to be sot and sexy, which is what he got. While dressed like a fountain at a mini golf course, she showed off her wonderful footwork and her high energy levels. Len said it was his favorite dance of the night thus far. We learned that Val braids things when he’s nervous. I hope he at least puts a hair tie on it before he goes on stage. 4 Nines from the judges.
Meryl and Maks danced a tango to “Feel So Close” and in rehearsal, we saw a different, timid side of Maks. Meryl held his hand and comforted him, which, if I’m not mistaken is the most love the man has ever received. Seriously though, Maks and Meryl HAVE to be lovers, because they are a little too close and sweet for Dancing with the Stars…I’m okay with it, though. The dance was mind blowingly amazing, with her kick butt leg flicks that I am obsessed with and her passion on that floor was palpable. Oh, and she was wearing gauchos…so that’s still a thing, apparently. Carrie Ann had her jaw on the floor as she said how Meryl is the first person to have such a tight bond with Maks that can keep up with him on the ballroom floor. Redfoo commended his choreography, which is the only normal thing he did all evening. A PERFECT SCORE FROM THE JUDGES!
Drew and Cheryl danced a tango to “Superfreak,” which is also not a party anthem, but whateves (All I could think during the dance was “I’M RICK JAMES!!”). He was dressed as a pimp. *insert Drew as pimp joke here* He was stiff, some mess-ups, but the biggest thing that hit me was that you could so tell that he was trying not to give his “I’m dancing and keeping my mouth open!” face. Judges commented on his technique being all over the place, but they did still like his energy (can you say “pity compliment?!”). 2 Eights, a Nine from Redfoo and a SEHVEN from Len.
Sharna and Charlie danced a really fun 90’stastic cha cha (with major hip action!) to “Everybody Dance Now.” They were decked out in neon accent colors that shined bright during the black light portion of their dance. I expected Screech to run out with the cast of MMC to sing the Step-By-Step theme song on the set of Figure It Out. Len flat-out said “I didn’t care for that part [pointing to black light stage], but I’m too old for that.” Oh Len, we love ya anyway. 4 Nines from the judges.
There was a guy dancing with a Mirrorball box on his head and I felt super uncomfortable. Moving on…
Derek and Amy closed out the evening with a jive to “Shout,” which isn’t a party anthem…this is their third strike. Derek wants to see Dirty Purdy, which didn’t really come across during the dance because of the theme of the dance, so I was super confused. Anyway, the wedding crashers theme was cute and you could really see that Amy was having a blast, all while wearing the tip-toe feet. Very technical and very lively, so a great dance from them. Then, Carrie Ann had to go and say that Amy has the best leg flicks ever on the show. EXCUSE ME?! HAVE YOU NOT SEEN MERYL’S?! WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A DISCUSSION! Anyway, Redfoo went “WOOOOO!” which made me so happy I never have to care about him after this dance. 2 Nines and 2 Tens from Redfoo and Bruno.
The couple going home were announced to be…Drew and Cheryl. Which is the complete opposite of the word “Shocker,” but I’m still sad to see them go.
Next week is Latin Week with Mr. 1999 himself, Ricky Martin, as a guest judge and the start of 2 dances per pair begin! Let me know your thoughts on this week’s dances below or on the discussion boards.
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