We are only a few weeks away from the finale, so the obvious thing to do is open the show with a rousing musical number sung by…Mark Ballas?! Now, usually, I am very against “triple threat DWTS pros” other than Julianne Hough (Derek annoys me in that respect…spoiler alert), so when I first heard that Mark was singing, I was expecting the worst. However, I received the best! A fun Justin Timberlake/Bruno Mars esque song that was paired with the best opening dance number of the season. These openers are getting better and better each week, which is fantastic! The song, “Get My Name,” I immediately bought on iTunes. It was wonderful! Right after the opening, Tom reminded us of the CELEBRITY DANCE DUEL *cue ominous voice* where the stars would dance without their pros…OH THE HUMANITY! Abby Lee Miller, of the disgusting show Dance Moms, is the guest judge and she is looking for…everything. It seems like she is expecting them to make something out of the Julia Child cookbook at the same time, ‘cause she wants A LOT! On to the dances! BA BA DA BA BA BA BA BA BA DA BA BA!
Charlie and Sharna opened with a quickstep and an expletive ridden Sharna, who is incredibly frustrated with the judges’ feedback and scores. Charlie also pulls the “I miss my family” card, as if the producers lock him in chains after the show is over and only feed him bread crumbs and water to survive. You can leave L.A., if you want. Either way, they performed a rather safe, but nice dance. It was a peppy way to start the show. Len hints that he doesn’t know if it is enough to warrant a ten, but Abby Lee Miller comes in with such a minute and unnecessary criticism…that Bruno corrects. ALM BURN #1! Then, Bruno pretty much called Charlie “California Chrome.” Apparently it was enough for Len, as the judges delivered a perfect score (that I don’t agree with).
Meryl and Charlie are safe, with Danica is in jeopardy. So, obvi, she dances next.
Danica and Val had a wonderfully strong and powerful tango that went all “Game of Thrones” on my butt. ALM wants to see dancing on The Wonder Years (in the words of En Vogue…NEVER GONNA GET IT), Bruno says it is her most powerful performance yet, and Carrie Ann feels like Danica’s mother. Maury called, and you are…NOT the mother. 2 Tens and 2 Nines from ALM and Len.
Meryl and Maks danced a rumba, but in rehearsal, Meryl pets Maks and called him a teddy bear. I don’t know if she is blackmailing him or what, but this new Maks is fantastic. It was a different take on a rumba, as there was a very “Tennessee Williams” (Bruno’s spot-on analogy) storyline to it, leading to some more contemporary moves, but still a fantastic dance. Carrie Ann loves the fluidity of Meryl, but still wants a tad more rumba content. ALM hates Meryl’s feet. SHOCKER: ALM is an awful person and judge. Maks replied to the comment, when Erin mentioned it in the Skybox, by saying “I don’t care about anything she has to say,” and the quickness that Derek started clapping both added together to create ALM BURN #2! 2 Nines, an Eight from ALM and a Ten from Bruno.
Amy is safe and James is in jeopardy, along with Candace. Oddly enough, Alex Trebek is not.
Candace and Mark danced a very I Love Lucy type of a foxtrot. It was cute, played to her acting strengths, and had her the most confident she has performed since Week 1. Still, the choreography and sharpness of last week couldn’t top this dance. ALM made a remark that everyone took the wrong way, though the right way was still insulting to Candace. Len and Carrie Ann both preferred last week, while Bruno loved it. 4 Nines from the judges.
James and Peta danced a Waltz, but beforehand, James was livid over his lack of good scores after putting more effort into his dances. So what helped his mood out? The Big Time Rush guys, of course! Either way, it didn’t help the bore fest, but nice waltz that he danced. His face was very much a Putin expression throughout the whole dance. Len doesn’t want a popped booty (but let’s be real…the producers need that popped booty for ratings), ALM basically wants to make love to him, Bruno loved their chemistry, but Carrie Ann…
An Eight from Carrie Ann, a Ten from ALM and 2 Nines.
Amy and Derek danced the second best argentine tango I’ve ever seen on the show. It was spectacular. It involved a stool, a special stage, some amazing leg flicks, and enough power to start up an F-150. Best part was that Amy was not in pain. Glowing reviews for the judges, but ALM complimented Derek and he just gave a face similar to this…
A perfect score from the judges.
Just a quick review of the CELEBRITY DANCE DUEL for ya. Meryl and Danica were just eh, but their use of the song “I Luh Ya Papi,” helped me appreciate it more. The stark difference between Meryl and Danica’s samba movements was rather shocking, but they just weren’t as in sync as others. They received 2 Eights and 2 Nines, from Len and Bruno. Charlie and Candace had my favorite, but the judges 2nd favorite, with the gorgeous contemporary routine. Charlie and Candace worked so well together, with their solo being the highlight of the night. Candace shined as well, showing that contemporary really is her strongest dance. They got 2 Nines and 2 Tens, from Bruno and ALM. Amy and James did a rousing jive number that was fringe-tastic and full of energy. Their solo was also very good. Super in sync, as well. They received 3 Tens and a Nine, from Carrie Ann.
More results showed that Candace was safe *cue confetti*.
The person going home is…Danica. She had a fantastic season and will be dearly missed in the ballroom.
Next week is American Icons week, with guest judge KENNY ORTEGA! I’m hoping for a High School Musical themed number!
Now, here is my paragraph plea to the producers of Dancing with the Stars…Hey. I am obsessed with your show. I love writing these recaps and people seem to enjoy them on the site too. Why not send me to the finale to report live, on tape, for LaughingPlace.com to cover the handing out of the coveted Mirrorball trophy. Just saying, it would be fantastic.
Anyway, let me know your thoughts from this week below!