#25 – “We have entered a wondrous new age, the age of information.” – Narrator, Spaceship Earth (pre 1994
With his familiar voice and powerful presence, walter Cronkite made for a very good narrator for Spaceship Earth. This is the second of three quotes from Spaceship Earth.
#24 – “I know this is probably your first flight, and it’s…mine too.” – Rex, Star Tours
“Something goes terribly wrong!” was a concept mostly unheard of before Star Tours. While other attractions had exciting things happen that weren’t necessarily planned, Star Tours made it abundantly clear that your flight was going seriously awry. While the concept seems cliched now, the idea of sending guests the “wrong way” was rather novel in its time
#23 – “Buenas dias senorita, my siestas are getting shorter and shorter.” – Jose, Tropical Serenade
We’ve all seen it. The host comes out to the frozen bird, taps his stick a few times and magically Jose comes to life before our eyes. The original Enchanted Tiki Room show was classy with a capital “C.” Taking its cue from lounge acts at the time, the jokes and puns used still entertain audiences at Disneyland (where the original show still is running).
#22 – “Some days you eat the bear, other days the bear eats you, but always dress for the hunt.” – Adventurer’s Club
The Adventurer’s Club is one of the most unusual attractions on Walt Disney World property. Part bar, part lounge show, part improvisation, the Adventurer’s Club is a genre to itself which probably explains the rabid fan base it has gathered over the years. This quote is taken from the club’s motto, and is used in a few of the nightly shows.
#21 – “We wants the redhead!” Pirates, Pirates of the Caribbean
In this classic scene from Pirates of the Caribbean, the auctioneer at a wench auction tries desperately to sell a rather portly looking woman. The pirates across are much more excited about the more provocative looking redhead also in line. The humor depicted in this scene is surprisingly adult for a Disney attraction, especially one from the late 60s. It has been often said that Pirates of the Caribbean gives a small glimpse into the more dark sense of humor of Walt Disney.
#20 – “Do not pull down on the safety bar please, I will lower it for you.” – Ghost Host, Haunted Mansion
In a very clever move, writers made what was a simple mechanical procedure into a chilling effect.
#19 – “Everybody, face the door! And the trick is we’re going to make you all . . .disappear!” – Fritz, Tropical Serenade
This “oldie but goodie” quip comes straight out of the days of vaudeville.
#18 – “If we can dream it, then we can do it.” – Narrator, Horizons
This motto of the amazing attraction Horizons has also been used for the Disney Company itself. The optimism of the quote reflected the dream like future created in the Horizons show scenes. The attraction would sadly become one of the last futurist attractions built by Imagineering, signaling the end of an era.
#17 – “Mr. Twain, the golden age never was the present age.” – Benjamin Franklin, American Adventure
Few Disney attractions have a better script than American Adventure, which is quite remarkable considering it has the almost impossible task of compiling 200+ years of American history in less than a half an hour. This line, which is one of the last lines in the show is a fairly profound statement on human nature.
#16 – “It’s called a ‘Salute to All Nations, but Mostly America.'” – Sam the Eagle, MuppetVision 3D
MuppetVision 3Ds irreverent humor has made the show a classic among Disney park fans.
#15 – “This is my dream!” – Mickey, Fantasmic
After letting the villains have their way, Mickey finally lays the smack down. And the audience goes wild.
#14 – “Now I will raise the safety bar, and a ghost will follow you home!” – Ghost Host, Haunted Mansion
This chilling conclusion to the Haunted Mansion is one of the more impactful lines heard in a Disney park. The concept that a ghost will follow you home, insuring your return to the mansion itself is delightfully dark. One wonders how many children keep looking around to find the ghost that followed them home.
#13 – “Brakes! Brakes! Where are the brakes?” Rex, Star Tours
Often quoted due to the over the top delivery by Paul Reubens, it’s at this point that the audience knows that they are in serious trouble. Thankfully, Rex not only masters the brakes, but manages to put the Starspeeder 3000 into light speed, through a comet, and down into the narrow channel of the Death Star without getting destroyed. Maybe R2D2 is really controlling the whole operation.
#12 – “We invite you, if you dare, to step aboard because in tonight’s episode you are the star, and this elevator travels directly to . . . The Twilight Zone.”Rod Serling, Twilight Zone Tower of Terror
What fans of the television show aren’t just a little bit nervous when they are told that they are stepping into the Twilight Zone. Considering the mysterious nature of the television show, telling guests they’re going to the Twilight Zone creates an eerie mood of unpredictability. The attraction plays off of that “what will come next?” feeling for the rest of the tour.
#11 – “When hinges creak in doorless chambers…and strange and frightening sounds echo through the halls…wherever candlelight flicker…where the air is deathly still…that is the time when ghosts are present…practicing their terror with ghoulish delight.” Ghost Host, Haunted Mansion
The Haunted Mansion is home to arguably the most literate script in any theme park attraction anywhere. It’s not often you hear phrases such as “cadaverous pallor” or “disquieting metamorphosis.” Obviously, the creative team decided to use words for the purpose of intimidation. It’s hard to imagine the Haunted Mansion without its refined writing.
#10 – “There it is ladies and gentlemen, the backside of water!” – Skipper, Jungle Cruise
Quite possibly the most snarky or self deprecating joke in a Disney park, the “backside of water” line relies upon the fact that traveling behind a waterfall is really just not that exciting. Over the years many skipper have embellished this line, either by adding a litany of adjectives at the beginning to build up to the disappointing conclusion, or by adding a quip on the end of “not trying it at home or you’ll bump your head on the faucet.”
#9 – “And so the story is told to children of all ages that if you wish hard enough and believe strong enough, Tinker Bell may appear to fly high above Cinderella Castle and light the Magic Kingdom’s Fantasy in the Sky!” – Narrator, Fantasy in the Sky
The beauty of this line is that it empowers the audience’s ability to see the magical Tinkerbell flight. One wonders if optimistic people in lands where Tinkerbell is not visible question their belief in Disney magic.
#8 – “Come on everybody, here we gooooo” – Peter Pan, Peter Pan’s Flight
A call to adventure from Peter Pan, the last word is drawn out as if to pull the audience into the fantasy of the story.
#7 – “Kungaloosh!” – Adventure’s Club
At the Adventurer’s Club the secret club salute is always punctuated with a “kungaloosh” at the end. The great thing about the word is that it’s an all-purpose, meaningless exclamation that can be used in countless ways. The word has gone on to be a staple in Disney fans vocabularies, and is found in countless signatures on internet discussion forums.
#6 – “Like a grand and miraculous spaceship, our planet has sailed through the universe of time. And for a brief moment, we have been among its many passengers.” – Narrator, Spaceship Earth
Another quote for Spaceship Earth, this time from the latest incarnation. Jeremy Irons’ straightforward reading of the script gives this attraction weight and depth. While many attractions entertain on a basic level, Spaceship Earth gives the riders thought provoking concepts and images. With the latest refurbishment of Spaceship Earth underway, there may be more famous quotes to add onto this list.
#5 – “Dead men tell no tales” – Pirates of the Caribbean
While not unique to this attraction this quote was certainly made more famous because of it. While the line appears to be a bit of a throwaway catch-all phrase, it takes on more meaning when one considers the attraction’s show scenes. By beginning the ride with skeletons, the attraction essentially reveals the outcome of the pirate’s outrageous behavior in the rest of the voyage.
#4 – “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Disney proudly presents our spectacular festival pageant of nighttime magic and imagination in thousands of sparkling lights and electrosynthomagnetic musical sounds: The Main Street Electrical Parade!” – Main Street Electrical Parade
Where else could you ever hear the term “electrosythomagnetic musical sounds”?
#3 – “Hang on to them hats and glasses! ‘Cause this here is the wildest ride in the wilderness!” – Safety Spiel, Big Thunder Mountain Railroad
Quite possibly the most famous safety spiel in Walt Disney World history, often recited along by park guests.
#2 – “This chamber has no windows and no doors…which offers you this chilling challenge…to find a way out!” – Ghost Host, Haunted Mansion
Another popular quote to speak along with, this represents the third quote from the Haunted Mansion on this list.
#1 – “Please stand clear of the doors…Por favor mantenganse alejado de las puertas…” – Narrator, Monorail
While there really is nothing to this line, there is not one piece of Disney dialogue you can hear that does not transform you into the park quite like this basic sentence.
The scripts used in Disney theme parks have become ingrained in the Disney fans who enjoy them. Dialogue and narration can be as influential on the enjoyment of an attraction as the music, show effects and set design. Let’s hope Disney keeps up the tradition of the high quality script work as seen in many of these classic attractions