I’m all shook up and ready to watch a night of Elvis in the ballroom. While we did lose one dancer last week, we’ve also lost a dancer in the in-between. Daniella Karagach, partnered with Joseph Baena, will be replaced by troupe member Alexis Warr after testing positive for COVID. (As long as I still get to see my love, Ezra, breaking it down all night, I’m good.) Time for the dances!
Jessie James Decker and Alan Bersten – Foxtrot – Last week’s dance was fine, yet forgettable. Jessie is very wary of her leg placement this week, but taking music advice from her four year old. Forest is fully responsible for her scores this week, that’s a fact. There is improvement from last week, but her sharpness still needs work. Len appreciates the improvement, while Derek asks for her to point those feet until her calf cramps. Get the Icy Hot patches ready! Forest can breathe easy.
Judges Scores: 7 – 6 – 6 – 6
Jordin Sparks and Brandon Armstrong – Quickstep – Jordin wants everyone to be excited by her dance. Good thinking. Tyra Banks’ “Oh-Kay” was dripping with boredom that really got me. It felt messy throughout. Her feet looked like they could never get the rhythm. Bruno noticed the consistently jumbled moments. Carrie Ann “You don’t have to be a dancer to start, you have to be willing to learn.” Say that! Len wants her to strengthen the frame going forward.
Judges Scores: 7 – 6 – 7 – 7
Sam Champion and Cheryl Burke – Viennese Waltz – Cheryl is my dream coach. She is my dream best friend. She is my dream? Sam’s suit is gorgeous, let’s get that out of the gate. Secondly, it was basic choreography that was done really successfully. Carrie Ann appreciated the posture and his ability to lead. Len wants his head to remain to the left (Cheryl tapped him to remind for next week) in frame going forward. His improvement was phenomenal!
Judges Scores: 6 – 6 – 7 – 7
Shangela and Glen Savchenko – Quickstep – Shangela is hoping for feet so refined, she’s jumping out of Bridgerton. Carrie Ann loved her sharpness, Len loved how energetic it was, but I craved a smidge more content. Derek gave excellent critiques, further proving DWTS has the best, most constructive criticism in reality television. There was an issue with timing that was apparent at one part during the performance, but the judges still gushed.
Judges Scores: 7 – SEHven – 7 – 7
Teresa Giudice and Pasha Pashkov – Jive – She has a renewed sense of self this episode, wanting to dance for her family and her dad. Unfortunately, it was bad. There were solid paired moments, but her lack of comfort on the dance floor is clearly evident. Len saw tons of leg issues throughout the performance, because he has a pair of eyes and a brain. She said the moment she saw her father on the screen, she got emotional and it clearly threw her for a loop.
Judges Scores: 6 – 5 – 6 – 6
Daniel Durant and Britt Stewart – Jive – He’s a little worried about this dance because his legs have to move at a rapid pace, but to calm his nerves, his TWO ADOPTIVE MOMS came in to give him a vote of confidence. It was incredible. Then, Academy Award winners Marlee Marlin and Troy Kotsur were both in the audience crying. His musicality never ceases to be incredible, even though Derek wants to see better extension. Daniel is so into this journey and I love it.
Judges Scores: 7 – SEHven – 7 – 8
Gabby Windey and Val Chmerkovskiy – Viennese Waltz – Her new fiancée was there, he was handsome, I was happy. The dance was beautiful and ethereal. The best part? Its simplicity was beautiful, while Len loved its softness. (I got quickly sidetracked as Ezra came out for a quick troupe number and he winked right into my soul.) Gabby also wins for best skybox persona.
Judges Scores: 8 – 8 – 8 – 8
Vinny Guadagnino and Koko Iwasaki – Quickstep – Vinny wins, without a doubt, most-improved. It didn’t hurt me to watch! He looked like he was having fun and his confidence and control was so welcome. Derek even said his frame looked good. It was a really great performance all around and it’s always awesome to see such improvement between weeks. Good for Vinny!
Judges Scores: 7 – 6 – 7 – 7
Charli D’Amelio and Mark Ballas – Quickstep – If we have to be nit-picky, her elbow did drop down a few times and Len noticed some issues with her frame. However, it was the first “fun” dance of the night that actually felt fun. Charli is just good, y’all. Tyra loves her beautiful neck, by the way. Just wanted to let ya know.
Judges Scores: 8 – 8 – 8 – 8
Selma Blair and Sasha Farber – Jive – Selma knows the biggest difficulty in this dance is the movement of her left leg. Since she doesn’t have full control of her left leg and a few moments during the dance, you could see the ability leave her body. However, it didn’t affect her timing at all, which is huge. The only timing issue came from her mid-number SPLIT. Gagged and gooped. Y’all Sarah Michelle Gellar was crying in the audience. It was a good dance!
Judges Scores: 7 – SEHven – 7 – 7
Cheryl Ladd and Louis Van Amstel – Tango – I would take a bullet for Cheryl Ladd. I need everyone to realize this. However, something happened as she lost every step. Clearly she has talent, based on last week, but there were tons of issues present. (I gave Cheryl all 10 of my possible votes. I love Cheryl. I want Cheryl to keep going.) You could see she was angry at herself for the mess-ups, because she cares so much, just like I care about her!
Judges Scores: 5 – 6 – 5 – 5
Joseph Baena and Alexis Warr – Viennese Waltz – Ay dios mio! Daniella is out for COVID, Joseph is stressing in rehearsal, and he has to be masked all performance. The masks helped him this week, covering his confused face all dance. It was fine. It wasn’t horrendous, he hit his steps, but he just is clunky for a dance that requires clean, fluid lines. Carrie Ann is impressed in his ability to lead, even throughout some missteps. (AND SHE SAW A LIFT, MAMA!) Len wanted to highlight his ability to stay elegant as a bulkier man.
Judges Scores: 6 – 6 – 6 – 6
Heidi D’Amelio and Artem Chigvintsev – Foxtrot – She delivered a wonderfully soft dance. Her flow and musicality were wonderful. Len loved the elegance and sophistication throughout, he just wanted to see a smidge more “freedom” when dancing. The word of the dance was “smooth,” and you can’t be mad at the performance.
Judges Scores: 7 – SEHven – 7 – 7
Trevor Donovan and Emma Slater – Rumba – I think they just…had s*x? It was a very sensual Rumba, y’all. Everyone on the judges panel is shocked at his ability this week. Bruno says it’s the show’s best Week 2 Rumba in 31 seasons. Len said he’s turned into a butterfly after Tyra accidentally shaded him. I was going to say Trevor was forgettable…but he slayed it. Good for Trevor!
Judges Scores: 7 – SEHven – 8 – 8
Wayne Brady and Witney Carson – Jive – Wayne took the charisma and added in a big ‘pile bucket of technique this week. It was just an awesome dance! His kicks were exquisite, his moves were so precise…it was just so great! I have nothing to say! Bruno loved the Elvis details that Wayne added to this performance. Len was concerned for his actual health (he had an actual knee issues in rehearsal) and wants him to complete this marathon in a successful and healthy way.
Judges Scores: 8 – 8 – 8 – 8
After a weird night (I think Elvis Night was not the move…every dance felt slightly off in musicality. I blame the king. Sorry, y’all.), we have to say goodbye to one of our couples. With a tie, Len’s vote to save Cheryl and Louis sends Teresa and Pasha home. Next week, the music of Bond. Until then…call me, Ezra. BA BA DA BA BA BA BA BA BA DA BA BA!