The Ducks are waddling their way to summer camp! However, summer camp isn’t the kind of frivolous vacation Alex remembers from her youth. This camp is out for blood and probably not just in the metaphorical sense.
The Ice Palace is, unfortunately, condemned at the start of the kids’ summer due to structural damage. As it is rebuilt from the ground up, the kids have no idea how they are going to stay busy during vacation. Hockey is their life, whatever will they do?! As if by magic, they are invited to EPIC (or the Elite Performance Ice Center) for an ice hockey summer camp. Thanks to Alex picking up a job as a dorm chaperone to get a heavy discount, the Ducks are RVing their way to California for a summer of skates.
Unfortunately…whoopsie…they invited the wrong Ducks. The team at EPIC, headed up by Coach Cole, didn’t get the memo on the name rights debacle that ended last season. They meant to invite the other Ducks, not the formerly known as Don’t Bothers. Thanks to some perfect Alex sweet-talking, the Ducks are allowed to stay. (MADTV legend Stephnie Weir made the mistake, but she’s MADTV legend Stephnie Weir, so can you really be angry at MADTV legend Stephnie Weir?)
The camp’s first activity is an ice breaker, which sounds harmless. Nick is even working on some basic introductory puns to dazzle the campers. However, this ice breaker has more of an emphasis on the break. [high-fives self] It’s a free-for-all on the ice to secure a goal as quickly as possible.
Our beloved podcaster Nick is left on the ice with a mystery boy as the final two, but thanks to a glacially paced technicality, Nick ends up second-to-last. Come to find out, the final scorer is Coach Cole’s son, Jace. Escandalo!
After the ice hockey Hunger Games Quarter Quell is over, the group is confronting what lies ahead of them. This camp isn’t really camp as much as it is a never-ending Barry’s Bootcamp class. Nick is adamant about leaving, Alex feels this is too harsh of an environment for the kids, while Evan is prepared to fight through and show everyone just how great these Ducks are at the game. After a quintessential Evan inspirational speech, the Ducks are determined to stay. May the odds be ever in their favor.
Penalty Box Thoughts:
- It’s incredibly impressive how expertly they wrote off Coach Bombay this season. “Sorry, Ice Palace is closed for renovations, now run along to Cali! XOXO, Unvaxxed Actor”
- Lauren Graham is a national treasure. That’s all.
- Evan and Sofi are a cute little couple, until he gives her a pizza necklace. Evan, my guy, did you win that at a Chuck E. Cheese?
- “Taper cut means business.” And that’s tea.