Holy snow, this episode was gosh darn great! I didn’t think that they had it in them. The Simon of it all has been so enraging that it seemed like we would be scraping the bottom of the barrel until the end of the series. Luckily, every Santa-like figure came out of the woodwork to save Christmas! Huzzah!
Who brought all these Christmas icons into one room? Bernard did! Bernard is back! How kooky, silly, funny, and crazy! From the jump, he clears up the obvious elephant in the room: He’s aged because he has fallen in love with a human and has decided to stay on Earth, giving up his eternal youth. Yet, even if he’s away from the North Pole, he still has an obligation to make sure it’s in tip-top shape.
He surprises Scott and confronts him over his awful decision to leave and put the coat in the hands of Simon. Christmas spirit is all but gone and there’s not a lot of options left to save the holiday as we know it. Scott is still a bit oblivious to the severity of the situation, so Bernard pulls an Agatha Harkness by-way-of Ebenezer Scrooge and takes him to meet a former Santa. And Saint Nick. And Krampus, ‘cause why not.
Throughout this journey, Scott comes to find out an extensive backstory about his reign that many might find shocking. In the first film, the slip off the roof wasn’t an accident. The powers that be decided that Scott Calvin should be the first Santa to start off as a regular human. Every Santa throughout history has been chosen to properly cope with the issues at the forefront of society. With technology coming to the forefront, Scott was chosen to tackle the issue. The hope was that with the addition of Clauses, Scott would be able to start a family in the North Pole and, hopefully, raise a long line of Santas for years to come. Long story short: Scott becoming Santa was the part of a long con.
Amidst this history lesson, the crew made sure to commend Scott on his work as Santa over the past two plus decades. Everyone with a brain knows Simon is ruining the trajectory of the holiday and the Santa name, so Scott must return to put a stop to the madness.
When Scott eventually announces his decision to return, the family isn’t thrilled. They are finally starting to make a name for themselves individually in the real world. However, once Scott explains how and why he was chosen, making them all essential, the Calvin/Claus family jumps at the chance to save Christmas.
Scott, however, is almost immediately locked up (alongside Noel) upon his return to his former place of employment. Is it bad that I’d like Simon to be run over by a reindeer? It is within the spirit of the holiday, after all…
Fireside Chat
- Bernard’s human wife? Why, none other than star of stage and screen Vanessa Redgrave! I firmly believe this joke was written by a gay man and for that I’m grateful.
- Cal and Sandra are starting to realize their full powers that were hoped for by the Santa League (?) and mentioned by their dad. Cal has a knowledge of everyone’s Christmas lists, Sandra can talk to animals, and both can see giant swirling vortexes in the sky. It’s officially a family business!
- How does the call go when Carol immediately resigns from her charter school job to return to the North Pole? What is the proper lie to create on the matter? I have no answers myself.
- Is Krampus…hot? Say nothing.