On a recent watch of Walt Disney’s landmark Alice in Wonderland, my intentions were known: I needed joy. I wanted to turn on a comfort film to bring me some much needed happiness as I hit another dark spot. The colors and absurdity can fill the holes in my broken psyche. Yet, as I began to really dive into the world, something clicked. I became my truest form: a (non-derogatory) psychopath screaming “yas gawd!” at the screen for ridiculous reasons.
The Alice in Wonderland Industrial Complex (don’t fact check) has produced a multitude of characters that viewers and park guests have loved for decades. Alice, Hatter, Queen of Hearts, the Tweedles, etc. Every one of them deserving of love. However, I began to give it up to the supporting players. The world builders. The scenery chewers. These are my role models in life going forward and they deserve their own time in the spotlight.
- Mirror Bird – She is looking out for everyone. How often do you get stuck in public with a hair astray or food in your teeth without easy access? The mirror bird is a girl’s girl. She’s always looking out. When Alice comes across the mirror bird in the wood, the bird chuckles and delights in the absolute serve that is Alice wearing alive glasses. That smile with the eyes line up with the bird’s? An utter delight.
- Red Rose – In a land of absurdity, the rose gets everyone rounded-up and ready to go. She is a leader. Amidst a garden full of different voices, she creates harmonies and sweet, sweet music. What a concept! Someone to look to whenever your surroundings are in peril? She’s the Miranda of the forest. (Alice is Carrie. Cheshire Cat is Samantha. This is canon.) Red Rose goes ahead and produces one of the most underrated songs in a Disney film to top it all off. Red Rose for president!
- Broom Dog – People want dogs as pets for cuddles and care. People don’t want dogs as pets for the clean-up. Well, do I have the animal for you! Now available at the Wonderland ASPCA, the broom dog will snuggle you every morning, noon, and night, while also cleaning the floors. It’s all the use of Roomba with the benefit of being adorable! Broom Dogs are the cotton candy grapes of Wonderland. No, I won’t elaborate.
- Pencil Bird – A communication marvel who deserves their own scene in Spaceship Earth. [in Judi Dench’s voice] “The Pencil Bird revolutionized the way we received recorded knowledge from the animal kingdom. Remember how easy it was to read your biology textbooks? Thank the pencil birds. They wrote them.” They understand and write English, like, why aren’t we freaking out about this?! That is remarkable! All things considered, their penmanship isn’t half bad either. Mockingjays found dead.
- Baby Oysters – First of all, let’s just have a moment of silence for these babies. [ ] The Walrus really did them dirty. But, let’s take a second to highlight how chic they are. Adorable, sweet, inquisitive things can really turn a look. Turquoise, pink, and purple? With a bonnet/shell? So fashion forward that Aquaria on Season 10 of RuPaul’s Drag Race even took some inspiration from the adorable creatures. (this is not confirmed, but I mean, look at the material.)