The idea of a Singles Week might scream complete and utter debauchery onboard The Odyssey, but instead we’re gifted with only one case being an STD, so I’d say that’s a win!
Singles Week starts off with Avery disgusted by the idea as a whole, which makes sense. Cruisers are another breed and the boat is a floating island where land life becomes a distant memory. Guest star Chord Overstreet knows that quite well, as he kickstarts his trip soliciting numbers. And soliciting makeouts. Oh, and soliciting dance floor grinding. In this case, I beg you to have the player and the game. Eventually, a small rash under his rock hard abs turn into warts covering his entire brute physique. (I’m just looking from afar, give me a break!)
Lo and behold, the man has syphilis. Is it surprising to me it took two episodes to hit our first sexually transmitted disease on the cruising medical show? Yes. Yes it is. Overstreet receives a treatment plan, while every member of his ridiculously long sexual partner list receives the gift of a shot to the buttocks. It’s like the free charms the ship’s jewelry store gives out at every port, just more painful.
Elsewhere, a patient begins to have a little fling with Tristan. I understand we’re propping Chord Overstreet’s character up as the sleazy one, but Tristan isn't a monogamous dream boat either? Tristan and Dr. Bankman decide to share a truce over Avery, based on their working situation and to prove their elevated masculinity. So, Tristan goes gaga over a girl on the dance floor (let her unpack, at least, geez), but a hookup turns into her fainting on top of him. Romance isn’t dead!
She seems to have a clear issue, but due to her stating she isn’t taking any medication, the team can’t really crack what’s going on. There has to be an outlying factor, as her health checks out otherwise. Come to find out, she’s taking a weight loss medication that’s greatly affecting her heart rhythm. Avery only realizes this moments before aborting a Chord Overstreet hookup. The definition of finding the light at the end of the syphilis tunnel. The patient is thankful for the concrete diagnosis, admits her bad choice, and still kisses Tristan on debark morning.
Elsewhere SHANIA TWAIN boards as a widower and immediately couples up with Captain Massey. The pair hit it off, with both having recently lost their partners and both being part of the older bunch on board. Their first dance is so successful, that Captain Massey invites SHANIA FREAKIN’ TWAIN over the next night for a cute little dinner. But whaddayaknow, the captain faints. After numerous tests, and another set of inconclusive testing, Dr. Bankman realizes he has broken heart syndrome, which has another fancier name I can’t remember. He’s given medication and the note to “chill out.” Bankman and Massey then share a moment being all “Being alive, man. Crazy thing.” and they move on with their day.
While Captain Massey is on a hospital bed, they come across a refugee alone on a liferaft. After saving her, she regales the medical staff with her struggles and her heart-wrenching push to find a new home. Her partner was seemingly lost in the travels, adding to her melancholy about being saved, but remaining alone. Avery is gutted by the story, realizing she feels just as stuck. She never completed the coursework needed to become a doctor, just a nurse practitioner, even though having the proper M.D. title was always her goal. The Odyssey has become her escape from real life and her own career mistakes, using the ocean to cover up her emotional wounds.
As Avery shares her personal stresses, Tristan decides to kiss her, ‘cause truces are dumb and for loser guys anyway! Suck it, Dr. Bankman! As the cruise comes to an end, however, only good news flows. Dr. Bankman and Tristan work together to find a path for Avery to still become a doctor. Luckily, the larger cruising company will offer a full-ride scholarship for Avery if she agrees to be a proper doctor onboard for three years after she receives her degree. Hey, that’s better than Disney Aspire! Also, they find the woman’s partner floating in a lifering and save him, too. Cute! It’s sort of a non-starter, but the reunion shot was…nice? I guess? Next, it is Plastic Surgery week onboard and reader, I can’t wait for bad prosthetic makeup!
Captain’s Orders:
- I really want to discuss the lighting in the ship’s medical center. It is the most unbelievable part of the show. Were they inspired by the “choose-your-own-light” fitting rooms at Abercrombie & Fitch? How can they see anything during procedures? Do I need to buy them some lamps? What is going on?
- Avery’s plot hit really close to home this week, as I have also cried numerous times on open decks.
- I know you’re dying to know, so here’s one of my favorite underrated Shania Twain songs.
- You know what hurts? Tristan knows he’s hot, which makes me pine for him more. What does that say about me?