We think some of the Primos staff may have taken a Disney Cruise recently for the first half of this week’s Primos, but the second half is a closer look at one of the cousins that shows that there might be more than meets the eye about her.
Summer of the Baby Races
In an episode that is a clear backup plan for the Disney Cruise Line should something happen with the recently announced Incredibles 3, this story is focused on racing babies. Turns out, Abuela has entered each one of her children (the Primos parents) into the Fresadena Baby Races in the past, and her grandson Baby Bud is more than qualified for the race.
However, Bibi doesn’t want anything to do with the races over in the “bougie” Fresadena neighborhood, but Tater demands that she has hometown pride for Hacienda Hills and attempts to recruit the primos to help train Baby Bud for the races. Too bad they don’t want to help. All the babies in the Fresadena baby race are being showcased by their parents on social media, and some of these kids are jacked. There’s no point.
Don’t worry though. Abuela has a plan. Citing her old back injury, she suggests getting a massage at the Fresadena mall, which you would think Bibi would be suspicious of considering they were JUST talking about the races that take place over there, but she is eager to help her mother. Together, they all head over to the bougie, clean blue sky, and clearly more upscale neighborhood of Fresadena.
Arriving at the race track, the family draws the attention of a Fresadena mom who says that she’s glad Bibi isn’t her boy’s nanny. Seeing this as a teachable moment, Bibi approaches this snobby parent and says that not all Latina women are nannies and Baby Bud, despite not having the exact same complexion does not mean he is not her own son.
This level of enragement gets Bibi to enter Baby Bud into the race, so cue up the workout and training montage. Abuela notices a bit of an issue though, when she realizes after Baby Bud exerts his inordinate amount of energy, he falls asleep rather quickly. This prompts her to ask Gordita to concoct a special all-natural energy formula for the baby that is only glowing because it is filled with vitamins.
It’s race time, and the babies are all set. When launched, the babies race and start getting eliminated one by one, whether it be for baby powder dust ups or even the discovery of their own foot. Now, it’s down to Baby Bud and the jacked social media baby who belongs to the snobby mother. Fortunately, earlier Tater was tempting Baby Bud at the end of the track with a video of his favorite show on her phone. However, during a poopy pit stop, the bigger baby sees the phone in her back pocket, still playing and distracts him, beckoning him towards her. The baby, who is not allowed any screen time, rises to his two feet and takes his first steps to chase after the phone. As such, this is a crawling race so he is immediately disqualified. Seriously, did the writers spend some time on the Disney Cruise Line? The dialogue is almost lifted from their spiel.
Baby Bud is racing along unchallenged at this point, set to become the first winner ever from Hacienda Hills, except that whole energy thing wore him out just before the finish line. Instead of giving him the all-natural formula, Tater steps up and rants about how crossing the line doesn’t matter, it’s the pride, etc etc. However, one of those pesky Southern California earthquakes hits again, which causes the sleeping Baby Bud to move laterally across the finish line. The tone has changed and the family celebrates the victory.
Summer of the Extra Terrestrial
With the Primos all heading to the dentist, Tater gets a bit of alone time and more importantly, her own TV time. Thanks to her new bands on her braces earlier in the week, she doesn’t have to go and can now enjoy a bit of Kung Fu Bustle on the screen.
However, another Primo has been left behind as well – Cha Cha. Tater is told to stay behind and watch one of her younger (and definitely more rambunctious) cousins. She chews on everything and somehow has healthy teeth because of this, so she too gets to skip the dentist. Not left alone (Pops is still in the backyard), Tater is babysitting and now has to share the TV, and Cha Cha wants to watch Aliens on Earth, which is an awful lot like a show in our world, Ancient Aliens.
While they are watching, the narrator implies that aliens have landed in a remote area (which looks an awful lot like the crevasse near Hacienda Hills) and that aliens might even be living among us. It’s when they show a rendering of an alien creature that Tater begins to notice some similarities between the alien and Cha Cha.
But there are three ways that you can prove someone is an alien in disguise. Creating Crop Circles, Rapid Evolution, and the ability to command robots. Using this template, Tater starts watching Cha Cha and discovers her digging patterns in the backyard, clear evidence that she is making crop circles. She later catches Cha Cha oozing purple goo out of her mouth, a sign of martian maturation and Cha Cha’s rapid evolution. Then, in the garage, Tater sees Cha Cha riding on the ABROOM, the family’s self-driving vacuum unit in the home. However, it seems to be listening to her commands and turning at her whim. That’s it. That’s all three.
Tater knows an alien and she is sure to be the talk of the town, walking red carpets and getting a book deal. In fact, let’s hear a song about it.
Throughout the number, it’s clear that Cha Cha is enjoying spending time with her cousin, and playing dress up and games. Perhaps, Cha Cha might have been outside digging out of boredom since Tater wouldn’t play and would rather watch the show, not to signal her alien family for rescue. Wait a minute, a large crop circle might garner government attention though, so Cha Cha might need some next level protection.
It’s too late, a car has pulled up and someone is outside in a hazmat suit ready to investigate what is going on. Using some domestic defense tactics, like a slip and slide placed on the front walkway, Cha Cha and Tater defend the house.
Their tactics seem to be working, but the hazmat suited person has seemed to summon smaller alien backup. Fortunately, Cha Cha has (similar to Tater) thought of every possible scenario, and has already dug an escape tunnel out of a closet that leads them directly to the chicken coop. Now in the backyard, they can see the Hazmat suit person approaching pops— wait a minute- It’s Abuela!
She was coming back from her beekeeping class! As for all that “proof,” Cha Cha was simply digging her own art to show Tater she loved her, as was all that purple goop all over her teeth. That was something she did to color her teeth to look like Tater’s braces. The robots, well, Cha Cha was using some remotes to catch a ride, bringing her physically closer to Tater.
All this love, and then we catch something truly lovely, Cha Cha (who only ever says Cha Cha) says that she loves Tater and added the name to her repertoire.
Those other alien creatures? They were the cousins, all in a daze after their visit to the dentist. But also, it gets really dark really fast for a summer night in Hacienda Hills.
You can catch this episode of Primos now on Disney Channel and the DisneyNOW app. You can also catch up with earlier episodes now streaming on Disney+.
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