Kenversations™
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Monday we went to Animal Kingdom, spending more time there than I had in past trips. FastPass saved us a lot of waiting for the safari. We were in the back of the vehicle, and at on point a mother and baby rhino crossed the road right after we drove by. This time around, no rifle was being pointed at the poachers. Did Disney wimp out here, too? What, it isn’t okay to hold poachers by gunpoint? Oh well…

We caught a bird show, saw the large kitties, the bats, the gorillas, and did the raft ride, which none of us had done before. Yeah, it was fun getting soaked, but I blinked and almost missed the rest of the ride. Hey, at least I had fun leaving a wet seat on Dinosaur.

What’s with those new rides going into Dinoland? Yikes…I’d rather see something that will actually draw people to the park.

Park-hopping can take a lot of time at WDW, unlike at the Disneyland Resort where you simply walk a few yards. As a result, ended up topping off the day at the Resort with the required (by me) meal at O’hana at the Polynesian Resort, at a window table. We’d eaten very little during the day to save room for the all-you-can-eat (notice a trend here?) Hawaiian barbecue food. I think our poor waitress could tell, too.

We were finishing up just as the Magic Kingdom’s fireworks show could be seen across the Seven Seas Lagoon. Very nice.

Tuesday, we avoided past mistakes by parking at EC, since it is open the latest out of all of the parks (9 p.m. - whew!). We took the Monorails to the Magic Kingdom and mainly hit Tomorrowland. Carousel of Progress, as I knew ahead of time, was closed - so much for celebrating a century of Walt. Timekeeper was closed, too. We had a great time on the Buzz Lightyear attraction, and did Alien Encounter, Space Mountain, and the Peoplemover. Ah, yes… if only we could have had a similar version at Disneyland Park.

The weather finally caught up with us, and we bought ponchos.

The only thing we saw on the west side of the park was the Hall of Presidents, which now has Gee-Dubya, of course, who looks good.

We took the boat to Fort Wilderness just in time for what was left of lunch at Trail’s End - surprise - another all-you-can-eat place. We used the bus system, which changes between every visit, to go to the Studios so we could hit TOT and RNR again until park closing, as the attractions had very low waits.

By this time, I officially had a cold. I first began to notice it at Discovery Cove on Saturday. The nine-year-old had one at the start of the trip, and my immune system evidently considered the time away from my heavy work schedule as a vacation too, so I wasn’t surprised. We took a bus to EC, where my mother and I called it quits and took her car back while the others went on to enjoy the park some more, especially Innoventions.

Wednesday was our last day to enjoy the area; we had to make the most of it. We signed-in to EC first, and then my mother dropped me off at the Orlando Convention Center on her way back to the airport

Churros, Whack-a-Mole, and Simulators…Oh My!
I had noticed that the International Association of Amusement Parks and Attractions convention was going to coincide with our visit to the area, and a buddy who was going to be working a booth invited me to come by, so I did. After all, a theme park nerd like me really has no excuse for never having been before.

Lemme tell you - I only had a few hours, and this was a little overwhelming. Rows stretched on for what seemed like miles - rows filled with exhibitors pushing everything from soda pop to coasters, games to simulators. General design companies were also there, such as BRC Imagination Arts and Landmark Entertainment Group, with a backdrop of "carnival" rides actually operating a few rows away. I talked a bit with Bob Baranick, Dave Cobb, Garry Goddard, and Tony Christopher. Everyone from reps for the biggest theme park chains in the world to "ma and pa kettle" who operate the local fun zone roams the aisles. It was surreal.

After my senses had been severely overstimulated and I’d picked up enough free brochures, I contacted the rest of my group to pick me up. They had been at Sea World, checking it out to see how it differs from the one in San Diego. I couldn’t believe that the little brats had ridden Kraken, the huge floorless coaster.

We grabbed some food and went back to the timeshare for a short rest. We drove back to the Studios to ride TOT of RNR a few more times, of course, and then drove to EC, making it the first and last park of our visit. We hit Test Track one last time, then finished the night in Innoventions, playing games and making virtual postcards to send to various poor souls.

Goin’ Home
Thursday morning came, and you know how it goes - part of you doesn’t want vacation to end, and part of you wants to get back home. We took the Beeline toll road back, because that was the easiest way from where we were and we didn’t have time to mess around. We flew straight to Phoenix, with no stop in… ALBUQUERQUE!!!. The flight was quite turbulent. In Phoenix, the plane we were supposed to be transferring to wasn’t going to arrive, so the flight was reassigned to a plane that was arriving later.

Combine that with the fact our ride waited for our call from Burbank to come pick us up and an accident on the I-5 that snarled already-heavy rush hour traffic, and it probably would have been faster to rent a car in Phoenix and drive it home. Seriously, travelling back to some part of the L.A. area by car will take much, much longer once you actually hit the L.A. area. Someone could drive from Santa Barbara to San Simeon in less time than it takes to go from, oh, Burbank to Long Beach.

Random Notes
We hit the Coca-Cola exhibit at Future World several times. Hey, it has free soda pop from around the world. At the prices theme parks charge, it is like gold. Plus, it is always fun to watch some unsuspecting soul try the Italian one.

I knew it was coming, but even I couldn’t believe that we were entering the main part of The Living Seas through an ordinary doorway instead of on the short ride-through. This has always been a nice pavilion to relax in, but it was paled by Discovery Cove.

The limited operating hours of the parks allowed me to catch up on some much needed sleep, keep my body on west-coast time, AND catch a few movies on cable. Nice.

We didn’t ride the Living with the Land attraction this trip. We were going to wait in line until we realized that it was the stand-by line and that the reason the FastPass machines were covered was because they had all been distributed. Why would this attraction be so popular? It is nice and all, but why this one?

I liked some of the old exhibits at the end of Spaceship Earth, but the new ones were entertaining as well. AT&T is making good use of the space.

I generally like to be more efficient and "get more" out of my trips than I was able to get between the larger group and the little rascals wandering off, but I enjoyed myself more after reminding myself that if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t have gone on the trip to begin with.

Epilogue
As you could probably tell, the nephews got on my nerves at times during the trip. I asked myself if I really want kids. My first day back at Disneyland Park, I was in a fairly busy Tomorrowland when a Outdoor Vending cast member who was transporting a cart handed off a little lost girl to me.

She had blond hair in little a pair of tails, was wearing overalls, and was holding candy. She was calm and quiet, and the most adorable lost child I have ever dealt with. I crouched down to her level.

"Hi… my name is Ken. What’s your name?"
"Amanda. I can’t find my mommy."
"Okay, well we’re going to find her, okay? How old are you Amanda?"
"I’m three."
"And what’s your mommy’s name?"
"Sarah"
"Okay. Let’s go look for her…"

With most lost children, I take them by the hand due to a combination of their size and the crowd conditions. Amanda needed to be up higher so she could look for her mother and so that her mother could see her more easily, so I picked her up and carried her as we walked the area. Nine times out of ten, a frantic parent will come running up to claim their child within seconds.

This time, however, we walked around for a little while, and then I decided to tell Lost Children I was on the way with her. As we made our way to Lost Children Amanda pointed to places she had been with her "mommy and grandma".

She never lost her composure.

I was surprised to make it all the way too Lost Children with little Amanda. When we got there, there was nobody waiting for her, and no other children. I handed her off to the hostess there, passing along the pertinent information.

"Ken’s going to go help find your mommy," the hostess explained.

I’m sure it wasn’t long before mother and child were reunited. I had hoped to bump into her mother so that I could have seen that moment with my own eyes, and thank the mother for sharing Amanda with me for a few moments.

Suddenly, all of the doubts I had about wanting children were melted away.

I think that says it all

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-- Ken Pellman

Ken Pellman is a childless bachelor. He is a writer who has experience as a Disneyland Park cast member, annual passholder, and serial Walt Disney World Resort tourist. He can be reached directly at [email protected] and you can find out more about him at http://www.Pellman.com.

Kenversations is usually posted on the fourth Wednesday of each month.

The views, opinions and comments of Ken Pellman, and all of our columnists, are not necessarily those of LaughingPlace.com or any of its employees or advertisers. All speculation and rumors about the future of the Walt Disney Company are just that - speculation and rumors - and should be treated as such.

-- Posted November 29, 2001