Greg Maletic
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I’ve been told that Tokyo’s building codes don’t allow open flames inside buildings. Normally that would seem to be a good thing, but when it comes to building theme park attractions--particularly a version of Disneyland’s Indiana Jones--it’s a serious problem.

DisneySea’s Indiana Jones and the Temple of the Crystal Skull is basically a clone of the Anaheim attraction with a few minor changes thrown in, some which improve the ride, some which don’t. I would have liked it if the Imagineers had seized on the "Sea" theme of the park to make this Indiana Jones about water rather than fire. Imagine hundreds of gallons of water running through the face of Mara (the Crystal Skull, in this case), huge waterfalls pouring from the temple ceiling, nearly submerging your jeep as it tears away in the nick of time. Kind of a promising idea if I do say so myself, but instead of a water theme, there’s a vague "crystal" motif with a kind of tornado in the center of the temple that’s less cool than it might have seemed on the drawing boards. A couple of the effects have been improved: the weak "falling rat" effect from Anaheim is thankfully gone, and there’s a laser-like beam that emanates from the Crystal Skull’s eyes that causes explosions to go off around the jeep on one or two occasions. These effects improve slightly on the Anaheim experience, but only slightly.

It’s completely valid to point out that as a California resident, I’ve ridden on Indiana Jones tens of times…tens of times more than Japanese residents, who will be experiencing the ride for the first time, and who will presumably be thrilled with it. Good for them. Indiana Jones at DisneySea is a great ride, but after being weaned on Disneyland’s version, there’s nothing special here that will get you really excited. (Even the new ride’s queue area, though impressive, doesn’t match up with Anaheim’s.) Disneyland’s Indy is still the definitive implementation.

Aquatopia

Next we trekked over to Port Discovery, and had a great time. Aquatopia is a joy to ride. The attraction consists of three-person bumper boats that move in a seemingly random fashion around a shallow pond, narrowly avoiding waterfalls, fountains, and whirlpools along the way. Unlike the standard Disney ride, there’s no "track" that the boats ride on, at least not in the traditional sense. The vehicles are controlled by a central computer that knows every vehicle’s location, and tells each vehicle where it’s supposed to go next. It’s this technology that makes the boats more interesting than the standard amusement park boat ride, because they’re always just missing each other. And you can’t just watch the boat in front of you to see where you’re headed: chances are, you’re not going the same way they are. Despite the ride’s technological complexity, Aquatopia is probably the simplest pleasure in the park, and one of its very best rides. (Despite the added expense, I’d be much happier seeing a variant of Aquatopia placed in parks like Disney World’s Magic Kingdom or Animal Kingdom over yet another Dumbo clone.) I’d never call it "thrilling", but of all the attractions in the park, it was this one that seemed to make people the happiest.

StormRider is a nice update to Star Tours that manages to be both more engaging and entertaining than the old Lucas-inspired simulator attraction. You won’t be shaking your head in amazement--the ride has a fairly standard "simulator" feel to it--but a nice pre-show area, the elaborate interior of the ride vehicle, and some cool show effects make it entertaining. StormRider is fun, but hard to fall in love with; I’ll give the nod to Aquatopia as Port Discovery’s better attraction.

Most of the park’s smaller attractions are superb. DisneySea’s two major "traveling" rides--the sea-going Transit Steamers and the Elevated Railway--are both entertaining. I’m always partial to scenic rides that let you take in the picturesque surroundings, and both of these attractions do a terrific job at that. (It would be great if they actually let you do a complete circle around the park on the Transit Steamer--you have to get off halfway around--but it’s still fun.) The kiddie rides in Mermaid Lagoon are also very enjoyable, and they look spectacular. I didn’t ride Arabian Coast’s double-decker carousel, though it looked like fun. The Magic Lamp Theater, a 3-D movie featuring the Genie from Aladdin (and quite a bit of live-action) was not so hot: it’s easily the least outstanding entry in the legion of Disney 3-D productions.

A Word Of Warning
…to prospective visitors: if you can’t understand spoken Japanese, you will absolutely feel like you’re missing out on something when you visit DisneySea’s attractions. I don’t speak the language, and on a few of the rides--20,000 Leagues and Sinbad, in particular--I struggled to figure out what was going on since I understood none of the narration. Paradoxically, English is the dominant language for signage throughout the park (even the paintings that tell the story of Sinbad in its queue area have elaborate English descriptions), but no such luck on the rides themselves. Technological fixes to this seem possible: selfishly, I’d like to be able to tell cast members to flip a switch and have my 20,000 Leagues mini-sub switch to an English-speaking Captain Nemo. I say "selfishly" because, surprisingly, on a very crowded day in the park, besides my party of six, I saw literally four non-Japanese individuals: much, much fewer than I’d anticipated. Because of these demographics, Disney probably got it right in not bothering to support English in the attractions. (If so, however, then what’s up with the English signage?)