Greg Maletic
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The "classic" Haunted Mansion has some of the same faults, though they are less severe than the ones in Pirates. After a trip through a creepy hallway with doors bulging, presumably holding back the scariest ghouls you could imagine, another sign-this one reads "Tomb Sweet Tomb"-takes you right out of the scary universe and into a cartoon. Fans might claim that this is part of a deliberate effort to tone the ride down, and it probably is; the designers wanted to make you laugh in-between the scary stuff to lessen the intensity of the ride. That sounds plausible enough (though I’m not sure that a needlepoint reading "Tomb Sweet Tomb" really qualifies as funny), but I find it distracting, lessening the experience. TIME Magazine film critic Richard Schickel observed the same thing in his 1968 book The Disney Version:
What is frustrating about [Disneyland] is that it is not better than it is, that just when something has about captured you, caused you willingly to suspend disbelief, the "imagineers" rudely nudge you awake and whisper, "Just kidding, folks." On the submarine ride, for example, all is going reasonably realistically, when the ship suddenly glides past a mermaid and the trip is spoiled by the intrusion of this obviously fictional creature…Another example: there is a train ride-an adaptation of the New York World’s Fair "Magic Skyway"-that takes you past extremely artful dioramas, showing various geological ages. When the age of the dinosaurs is reached, there are excellent moving models of the great creatures, far more artfully done than any you are likely to encounter in a museum. But then you notice the baby tyrannosaurus [sic] represented as just breaking out of their eggs, and, wonder of wonders, they are cuddly and adorable. The dear round bottom of one is wiggling comically as he shakes off his shell. The message, apparently, is that cuteness existed as an ideal in nature long before man appeared.
Disney tends to resist going for the easy laughs in its more recent attractions: rides like Tower of Terror and Indiana Jones are completely consistent from queue to exit, never once wavering from their sober tone. And by "sober," I don’t mean boring, or overtly serious. These rides aren’t boring, nor do they take themselves too seriously. They’re fun-obviously giant-sized toys-but they’re seeking to tell a single story and create a single emotion.
Despite the issues I’ve raised, I love both Pirates and Haunted Mansion. So why should I bother criticizing them? Maybe Disney will notice and take the opportunity to smooth out the experiences during their much-anticipated re-works for Disneyland’s 50th Anniversary. Unlikely, though. I guess what I’m saying is that I’m surprised you could paste over a classic attraction with plywood and a new soundtrack, do it at a fraction of what the attraction originally cost (in real dollars, at least), and make it a more satisfying experience. I hope the folks at Disney are surprised, too, because I know that next time I ride the classic Haunted Mansion, I’ll be dreaming of what it looked like back when Jack Skellington lived there.
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-- Greg Maletic
Greg's column is not posted on a regular schedule.
The opinions expressed by our guest columnists, and all of our columnists, do not necessarily represent the feelings of LaughingPlace.com or any of its employees or advertisers. All speculation and rumors about the future of Disneyland and the Walt Disney Company are just that - speculation and rumors - and should be treated as such.
-- Posted Novmeber 19, 2002