Doctor Odyssey has premiered and the pilot gave us four injuries, four main characters, a COVID-centric origin story, and one of those trendy IV vitamin drips. All! At! Sea!
Dr. Bankman is the newest head doctor aboard The Odyssey after the previous doctor was let go by Captain Massey (and lovingly referred to as Dr. Magoo). Nurses Avery and Tristan are trepidatious as they have a clear rapport and routine with how they deal with passengers emergencies. When you’ve done three contracts with the same person on the same boat, change isn’t ideal.
The duo is shocked to see that Dr. Bankman is, like, young? And, like, hot? His resume seemed so stacked that what they expected was not what was delivered. A hot, middle-aged man in a Hawaiian shirt and tight pants?! They were expecting Dick Van Dyke. Regardless, with Dr. Bankman being new to seafaring, Captain Massey gives him a tour of the ship and demands the need to keep the fantasy alive. Guests may board The Odyssey wanting a little escape, but the crew must work overtime to ensure they fully leave reality and enter this world of fantasy.
Almost immediately (and on formal night, no less), the medical team are sent to work on a guest who is experiencing profound vomiting and rash-like symptoms. His wife (RACHEL DRATCH!) is concerned, but he’s not allergic to anything, especially anything in the umpteenth margarita they both threw back. (not judging, just stating.) Dr. Bankman immediately diagnoses him using loser, landlubber medical analysis, but Avery is all “You better sit your butt down and realize ship rules are different!” Lo and behold, Bankman’s medication allergy isn’t correct…the man just ate a ton of shrimp at the buffet and got iodine poisoning. Cruise ships, am I right?
The night continues, until a guest is frantic over his newly received injury. The honeymoon couple were, ya know, gettin’ it on, and a misjudged movement led to the man fracturing his penis. The trio race him to the medical center, seemingly holding in their laughter. I know it hurts, I know it’s uncouth…but that will never not be a hilarious injury. You already know it’s going to be a party story for the rest of his life when he hangs out with his bros.
Medical emergencies on ships have a variety of rules and regulations regarding what can and can’t happen on board, but Bankman knows that if the injury is serious enough, they are allowed to handle it on their own and not revert to docking early/rerouting. The trio decide to work on the fractured penis and make it as good as new. After the couple’s joy in the problem being fixed, Avery suggests a tantric specialist at one of their port cities because of course she does. The fantasy remains! Huzzah!
Dr. Bankman is exhausted after his first day gaining sea legs, but decides to join Avery and Tristan the next day for a beach bonfire. There are shots, there is dancing, there is Bankman kissing Avery right after Tristan expressed his love for her. I see a love triangle forming! With Tristan now appalled with his new boss, Bankman and Avery head back to her room for some canoodling.
The pair immediately regret their decision (after they kissed in front of all crew members, so like, too little too late), so the obvious next step is an IV vitamin trip from Avery. I get they are medical professionals, but she pulled those needles out so quickly it was a bit disconcerting. As the pair begin to rest, Bankman reveals what led him to ship life. After becoming one of the first American patients with COVID-19, he miraculously recovered and worked to not take life too seriously. Thus, the work-life balance of working in a luxurious setting.
Of course, the tea-spilling time quickly comes to a halt after a water slide incident (if I had a nickel), blocks iodine guy’s airway. On the way to help this man (and RACHEL DRATCH!), Tristan catches Avery and Bankman leaving the same room which, ya know, doesn’t go over well. Once again, the injury is severe enough that the medical trio decide to take drastic measures on board so his breathing doesn’t stop all together.
As the two medical men in the room are in a heated silent treatment match, a man flies overboard. Because of course. Four cases in a single episode? That’s not messy at all! After a bout of molly, the man tumbled into the water, was quickly rescued and brought back to a sustainable state. The literal man overboard was breezed over as a plot point to just get Tristan and Bankman apologizing for their actions.
In the most unbelievable part of the episode, the crew stands and says goodbye to all the guests disembarking. (Um, no! That’s their time off. Let ‘em sleep!) Bankman and Avery have a little tension between them as we’ll (likely) continue to see this trio fall in and out of love with each other. But, buck up, ‘cause next week is Singles Week on board. What could go wrong?
Captain’s Orders:
- Can we all agree the crew cabins are too nice? Like, I’m aware The Odyssey seems to be a smaller, luxury liner, but the crew cabins are widely nice.
- Will one of the four new ships announced by Disney Cruise Line become The Odyssey if this show is successful? Absolutely not, but one can dream.
- I can’t get over that someone went overboard and the show breezed past it like a Kleenex product placement. Truly nuts pacing. I kind of live for it?
- Tristan is hot and it makes me mad. That’s all.
- I leave you with this TV Insider theory that the entire show is taking place in heaven. Do with that as you will.
Doctor Odyssey airs Thursdays at 9pm ET on ABC, streaming the next day on Hulu.