We’re now five episodes in and the crux of Doctor Odyssey’s issues are becoming apparent: it’s too busy. Every episode features too many medical cases, not enough character development, and a throw away patient that is only featured for two minutes.
For Halloween week aboard The Odyssey, these newly solidified facts about the show’s episode construction are visible the moment guests board the vessel. Tristan and Dr. Bankman are in a heated battle from the beginning over Halloween costumes. While Bankman is finally ready to succumb to some of the ridiculousness of these consistent theme weeks, Halloween is where Tristan shines. As a competitive costumer, the man is out for blood.
While working on his elaborate costumes, Tristan decorates his room with items left over from the recent Broadway cruise’s production of Sweeney Todd. Skulls, chains, and old-timey lanterns (TOTALLY allowed in cabins???) fill his room and he grabs his glue gun and gets to work. Yet, as the episode increases, he starts having visions. Competitors fill his head, while his vision becomes woozy and his speech patterns become incoherent. With concern at its highest, Avery and Dr. Bankman realize that the lanterns have given Tristan carbon monoxide poisoning. (For having open flames in a cruise ship cabin, honestly, he deserves it.)
Elsewhere, a man dressed as Wolverine is hooking up with a Playboy Bunny on the top deck when he starts to bleed. After fainting, he’s rushed to the infirmary, but Avery and Bankman can’t seem to find any open wound. Avery realizes that there isn’t any wound as he’s actually sweating the blood. Bankman explains, after cooling down the patient, that sometimes fear and sensual responses from our body are quite similar, so the possibility of the hookup makes his body go into fight or flight. We never talk about sweating blood or Mr. Wolverine ever again.
Two couples board the boat with an extensive list of activities and experiences lined up. Mind you, the wives are the ones doing the planning, as their respective others seem absolutely beat. Lo and behold, the two couples have just returned from an African safari vacation and immediately boarded a cruise ship. So, these are inherently stupid people. Both the husbands are taken over by the need to sleep and head back to their cabins.
Unfortunately, they quickly start to show signs of zombieism. The men are sleep walking, showing aggression, and in some cases, biting their wives. Ya know, normal Halloween stuff. Spooky!
The pair of zombunds perplexes the medical team, especially after their cases are deemed not contagious. Of course, it’s a lucky break for the guests onboard The Odyssey who don’t have to quarantine. COVID is brought up again to trigger Dr. Bankman (and the rest of the known world), but remains unexplored further.
Later, a sweet couple going on a treasure hunt excursion (insane) climbs into a set of caves, which are repeatedly described as a place individuals should not go. Yet, because no one on this planet listens, the duo climbs in and one of them, while finding an ancient gold coin, has her arm caught by a falling rock. With the tide rising in the cave, it’s looking like a 127 Hours situation is nigh, but Avery enters the cave and does some quick work, breaks only her elbow, and rescues the woman from death and becoming an amputee.
While the couple kisses on the beach, the other starts scratching her leg from the sand flea bites that attacked her during the hunt, sparking Avery’s brain to go into overdrive. After some deducing, it’s determined that the zombunds from before have been infected via a fly’s bite in Africa. From the diagnosis, the pair recover and their wives immediately set their excursion plans back into action. The Odyssey only accepts idiots as patients.
Captain’s Orders:
- I am enjoying the graphic design bit of the gangway tunnel changing its design based on the theme week. It’s Halloween week, so time for a spooky, scary octopus. Get it?
- My patience for everyone being dumb is waning. At least the Wolverine guy didn’t realize he could sweat blood?
- I’m personally firing the cabin inspection team who allowed Tristan to continue to hold multiple lit flames in his room for days on end. Their careers should be over and I’d like to kick them off the ship myself.